Guess who's back?

They didn't name me Percy the Persistent Spider for nothin.
I was on a brief leave of absence as I had an unexplanable urge to leave... like something bad was going to happen, something involving a boot and me being squashed to bits.
Anyway, I did get a little shopping done for Halloween. And now I'm back just in time for the festivities to begin this weekend.

I have also relocated for the fourth time in just a few weeks. I do hope I can keep this new place a bit longer than the last few.


Now if this lady and her clamoring daughter would just leave me alone!
Every morning... at the window, waving, pointing, and calling my name repeatedly.
And what's with the lady sticking that big silver thing with the bright light in my face all the time?!? I have to run away when I see her coming.

Your friendly spider,
Percy

P.S. Any of you amateur entomologists care to take a stab at identifying me?
If you guess correctly, I'll send you a special treat!

Way Back Wednesday: Halloween!

We start with Princess Jackie,

I didn't really even need a costume to be a princess.
I was still in college but interning at an elementary school this year.
For some reason I look a little lost in the picture...

"Look at me I'm Sandra Dee!"

Here I am as Sandy from Grease with one of the Pink Ladies, my dear friend Renee.
I remember one of the bars playing "Grease Lightening" so all 5 Pink Ladies, Danny, and Sandy(me) got up on stage and rocked the place!
good times.

And this was my freshman year in college (that's first year for the Canadians playing along).

Not really sure what the heck I was supposed to be (I'm on the left), but we wanted to dress up and party on Sixth Street the way all college students should.
And we did!
In this picture we hadn't even gotten to 6th street yet and we are obviously already on some other playing field...

And as for the rest of those party pictures...
well, my family does read this and I did not want to shatter their images of me as sweet little Jackie.
Although I'm sure it's much too late for that.

How can someone so cute be so horrible at night?

This little man kept us up alllll last night! Poor guy had some painful gas/tummy ache and has a snotty cold on top of it.
We got maybe 3 hours of sleep the whole night.
Not a happy camper today.

But damn if he isn't just so cute!

It was picture day at school. But he was so tired he cried through all his pictures.
That's ok though because I got about 33 great shots of him at home!

In Search of the Great Pumpkin

I had big plans take the kids to a pumpkin patch this weekend.
"We're going to the pumpkin patch, we're going to the pumpkin patch, we're going to the pumpkin patch..." Sophie and I sang as we headed out on Saturday morning.
On directions from Mama Duck, we went out Hwy 290 in search of the pumpkin field/patch/farm thingy so the kids could pick out pumpkins and we could take some really cute pictures.
Driving...driving...driving...looking for the pumpkin place...driving...still driving...
No pumpkin place in sight.
So a very grumpy, hungry, and frustrated Mom said we should just turn around and go back home.

But Daddy thought since we were halfway there already we could go into Wimberely and look around.
Oh that Daddy's so smart some times!
We drove into Wimberely and after a potty break and a nice lunch at the Cypress Creek Cafe, I felt better.
We walked around and looked at all the cute little art and antique shops. There were lots of fun Halloween/Fall decorations, many uniquely decorated scarecrows, and lots and lots of pumpkin displays. (here's a short slideshow to see pictures from our little trip)
The kids liked being outside and looking around. I also enjoyed watching the elderly folks admire, oooo, and aaaahhhh over our darling children.
It turned out to be a great day!
And alas, we found a place to pick out pumpkins.

Now granted this wasn't quite the big pumpkin patch I had in mind, but it did the job. And I knew we weren't going to venture out again looking all over Austin for another pumpkin patch.

Angel in Disguise

Angel in Disguise
Originally uploaded by lucky lum.

So Long Percy

Percy must have read the blogsite because he did the skedaddle last night.

The assassination was planned for last night in the evening before it got too dark. But of course Dwayne did not get home on time and I was left to fend for myself and tend to the two beastly children. And it got too dark and I was scared to kill Percy in the dark for fear I might miss and he would attack me!
So the plan was rescheduled for the next day (today) when the children were napping.

When I woke up in the morning and brought Sophie downstairs we followed our usual morning ritual of looking out the window for deer and squirrels, and lately a peak and brief conversation with Percy.
But Percy wasn't there. I thought he might just be out for a his morning walk. But NO, he and his web had hit the road!
Hooray!! Now all you spider lovers will not hate me because I didn't have to slaughter Charlotte's evil cousin Percy.

I however will not be surprised if we see Percy again. For we know that he is Percy, the persistent spider.

Meet Percy

This is Percy the Persisitent Spider.

Percy is big, way too big for my liking. Although the pictures do not clearly reveal his true size, when Percy is all spred out he is bigger than an Oreo.
I do not like Percy or any of his kin folk.
Percy was a very busy spider and built an enormous web on our deck.
It was so big that I was even too scared to go outside for a few days.

I made my move yesterday while Percy was away. With big broom in hand and covered shoes on my feet, I had my bases covered in case Percy decided to attack while I was destroying his home.
Gone in less than 10 seconds.
whew! I'm glad that's over with.

Until today...

Yes, that is Percy. Percy is persistent. He again has built himself a big big web on my deck. This time on the other side of the table.

Damn! Today after I take two shots of whiskey and get my courage up I am going to kill Percy. So long sucka!!

I was let out of my cage

Saturday I got to escape the Lum household for a night of fun with the girls!

We started out the night at Carmelo's, a scrumptious and fancy Italian restaurant downtown.
All dressed up, cocktails, many appetizers, delicious pasta dinner, bottle of wine, decadent deserts, and my friends treated me for my birthday. And get this- conversation. Real conversation. Without screaming, whining children. That was the best treat! Of course there was a good twenty minutes we had to talk about our kids.

A little tipsy and very full, we meandered down to 6th street to check out many bars. Laid back college student ridden, beer drinking joints; upscale trendy dance clubs; gay half-naked men club, swinging outdoor funk music gin joint.
What a blast!
I found myself pleasantly drunk throughout the night. A good buzz to get a little wild and have a good time, but not so much I was dizzy falling down on my face. I'm learning how to do it right (finally) now that I don't do it so often.
What I couldn't believe is that I stayed out until I heard the infamous "LAST CALL!" line. What? How could I, mother of two small children stay out so late that I'm hearing "last call?"
Oh well, if you're gonna do it. Do it right I say.
Got home around 3am. Got naked and fell asleep.
Missed the children waking up. THANK YOU DWAYNE!
Stumbled out of bed about 9am. Immediately drank copious amounts of water and took two advil. Laid down for most of the morning trying to decide what I was hungry for and retold all the fun bar stories to Dwayne.
Felt just like the good old days...
Surprisingly the children were well behaved and I recovered from my hangover pretty quickly.

Sooooo...
who wants to go out with me next time?

yesterday was a hell of a day

hmmm, maybe because Mommy's not nearly as much fun as having Grammy and Daddy around all day.
Mommy doesn't give in to every whine or whimper, Mommy cannot entertain you for hours on end, Mommy can't hold you all day long, Mommy doesn't have as much patience as others, Mommy has 200 loads of laundry to do, Mommy has groceries to buy so we can eat, Mommy DOES NOT want to hear anymore whining or crying!!
At one point in the car I couldn't take it anymore- the constant whining, crying, and "I want Daddy" everytime something wasn't perfect- I cranked the volume on the radio and enjoyed the blissful feeling of not having kids for about 5 minutes.

So today was better. The kids went to their preschool for a few hours and I got to regain a smidgen of my sanity. And now here are pictures to share!

Back to the humdrum

There's so much to do when you get back. And the kids are never cooperative.
Finally I have a moment of peace as they are napping.

I know ya'll are dying to hear about our trip so here's the scoop:

Thursday: Arrived in STL, nice and cool weather. Left the kids with my parents and headed to the Blues game. Freeeee at last! Watched good hockey even though they lost. But I didn't recognize hardly any of the players cus they were all traded around, and they went and changed the NHL rules too. Oh well, the beer hadn't changed!
Got back to parents house and Holden was up screaming and crying. Talk about a major buzz killer. just go to sleep would ya!!

Friday: Very tired and a hanging a bit from the all the beers and crying baby. Went to the zoo with Grammy. What a terrific zoo they have in St Louis! If you ever get the chance, I highly reccommend going. Sophie had a blast and was enthralled with seeing all the zoo animals in real life.

Saturday: Ran errands and got ready to look gorgeous for the big reunion night. Grammy and Pawpaw got the priveledge of watching the angel children again. I told my mom if I came home and Holden was crying again, we were going to sleep in the basement.

Went to the reunion at a taproom downtown. What a blast!! It was so fun to see old friends! Everyone was grown up but most the people looked exactly the same. Dwayne was a great sport, made friends and chatted with everyone while I ran around trying to see everyone and get their story. It surprised me that we were one of the few people married and I think only one other couple had kids besides us! Man did I feel old!
But we had an open bar for three hours and I tried to drink my $77 dollars worth the best I could. Needless to say I was schnuckered up a bit and don't quite remember all the conversations of where/what everyone was up to now. Oh well, it was a fun night!

Sunday: tired. Had open house visiting day with family and friends at the house. Had a nice time seeing and catching up with aunts, uncles, cousins, and good friends. Too bad we don't get to see them but once a year.

Monday: Relaxed and hung out with the fam. Sophie and Holden soaked up all the extra attention for one last day!

We left on Tuesday. The kids were good on the plane.
A terrific trip! But as always, it felt good to be back home.
(will post more pictures soon)

A little something to leave you with

Since I didn't have time to dig out pictures for Way Back Wednesday, I thought I'd leave you with some shots of my darling children.

Feast your eyes!

If you knew how she likes to eat her pb&j snadwiches, you'd understand why she looks like this afterward.

And Holden seems to be following in her messy footsteps.


Ahhh, the love!

In two days...

It will be Thursday.
And Thursday means we will be sooooo outta here!
Going to visit my family up in St Louis, Mizery.
Should be a fun trip! We haven't seen my mom in about 6 months and my dad hasn't even met Holden yet. I wish they lived closer.

Thursday night we're going to the Blues game (that's hockey for you slow folks), opening night against Detroit. That was Dwayne's bday present from my mom. Can't wait! Beer, hockey, no children = great fun!

And it will be my birthday too. I'll be 10,592 days old. Damn that's a lot of spankings!

Saturday night will be my 10 year high school reunion. I can't wait for that!
I actually couldn't wait to get out of that place and graduated a year early (making it 11 years really, but whose counting?). But now, I'm so curious as to what everyone looks like, what they have done with themselves, are the cute guys bald & ugly or still gorgeous, are the geeks techie millionaries, are the pretty cheerleaders fat and pregnant, and how much beer can I drink without making a total ass of myself???

Will take many pictures of our trip and share when we return...

It's Stuff Portraits Friday

...and I haven't played in a really long time.
Here's what Kristine wants us to show:
1. Something in your house that isn't where it should be.
2. Something you broke, but kept it.
3. Food that you have in your house that you never eat (or drink)


This contraption is something my husband brought home. He is *borrowing* it for a few weeks to see if he wants one.
No.
N. O. Not in the freaking living room!


This cute doggie was holding a "Welcome" sign. We've tried fixing it several times but it keeps falling back out. He's just too cute to throw out though.


I bought this delightful stuff after Dwayne had his oral surgery and couldn't eat solids. He said he'd rather starve than drink that crap.


Happy Friday!

Things I Must Do While Nursing

by Holden

1. Latch on and get upset if the milk does not come down IMMEDIATELY
2. Bob my head and body like I'm jamming out to 50 Cent
3. Dig my fingernails into Mom's boobie
4. Pop off to look up at Mommy and smile
5. Pop off to look around at Sophie playing
6. Pull my head back to see how far Mommy's nipples will stretch before they break
7. Pop off to smile at Mommy
8. Pop off to watch Sophie
9. Blow raspberries on Mommy's nipples
10. Get mad after Mommy puts her boobie away because I've been goofing off for too long

WBW: Fraternity/Sorority week

The Kept Woman wants to see our sorority or fraternity pictures.
If you know me (and really know me), you know that I am soooooo not a sorority girl.

When I was in high school I used to love fraternity boys. I would sneak off for the weekend to visit my college friends and they taught me all the fraternity names, cute boys in each one, and how to party frat style!
I went to more frat parties in high school than I did in college. Oh I partied in college, but was just not into that scene anymore.

Here's the one and only frat party I can remember going to. My girl, Carrie (on the right) dragged me along no doubt. Hey, at least they're good for free beer!


See those colored chords around my neck?

Those were for being a Kappa Delta Pi member (the other ones for graduating with honors). I joined Kappa Delta Pi my senior year. It's not really a sorority, but an Honor Society in Education. I figured it would look good on my resume.
Does that count??

Side note: That's Dwayne with my nephew on the side. I remember I had tried dying Dwayne's hair blonde at the time. Didn't quite turn out as planned. It actually turned many shades of orange as I tried to dye it again and again to fix it.
But it grew out eventually and that was the last time I was allowed to dye his hair.

The Great Tattoo Artist

Here she is working on her tattoo called "Brown River"...


And here she has created "Brown Mustache"...


The girl even colored the bottom of her feet.

Some of you are wondering if I supervise my child with markers.
I do. Unlike pen, markers are washable.
And just look at her creative talents!

Daddy's Birthday

We have been planning Dwayne/Daddy's birthday for the past week.
It is hard for a 2 year old to keep a secret.

Mommy went to the paint-your-own-pottery place and picked out a nice little plate for Daddy. I painted it, wrote "daddy" in the middle, and planned on returning with the kids to put their little fingerprints all around the edge.
A few days later I was taking them back to the pottery place. I told Sophie we were going to the pottery place to paint a plate for Daddy's birthday.
She heard that we were going to Daddy's birthday party.
I tried explaining again what we were going to do.
And she got very excited that we were going to Daddy's birthday party.
You can imagine Sophie's disappointment when we got to the pottery place. She looks around with a confused look on her face, turns to me and asks "Where's Daddy?"
So I went through the explanation yet again that we were there to paint the plate for Daddy's bithday. After she realized she would get to stick her hands in some paint she was happy again.

But she couldn't quite keep her mouth shut about the plate. Luckily Dwayne was only half listening and didn't clue in when Sophie asked him about his plate a few times.

We also went shopping for items needed to make his birthday cake. Sophie picked out the kind of cake, icing, candles, wrapping paper, and a big bow for his present! Holden didn't really care what we got. I did ask him though so he could be a part of the whole birthday thing. All I got out of him was "bwdah, bwdah, bwdah." I figured he was agreeing with Sophie's choices.
I had wanted everything to be a surprise for Dwayne on Friday. But knowing we still had 2 more days to go and I figured Sophie would surely spill the beans. She did. That night she told Daddy about the cake. Oh well, I tried.
And Sophie was very concerned about this cake. She really wanted the cake to be for her. After I told her again it was a cake for Daddy's birthday she said "For Sophie's birthday too!"
"This time it's Daddy's birthday, but he will share the cake with us."
That seemed to appease her, and then that's all I heard about... "Daddy will share his cake with Sophie."

We baked and decorated his cake, wrapped his present, and signed his cards. Then we anxiously awaited his arrival home.
When he walked in we showered him with hugs, kisses, and "happy birthday"s.
We enjoyed a nice meal at home, sang "Happy Birthday" and brought out the cake afterwards. It took about 5 minutes to light all the candles and I was sure the smoke alarm was going to go off when Dwayne blew them out!

But he sure loved his present and homemade cake!
And Sophie was very relieved when Daddy shared a piece with her.

P.S. This is what Daddy's plate was for.

fun day

Sophie got to take her cousin Bradley out on her boat a weekend ago.
They had a great time playing with each other, splashing in the water, digging in the sand, eating lots and lots of crackers, and they even found a baby turtle to play with that was only as big as a quarter. Mommy thought he was really cute and wanted to take him home for a pet, but Daddy said no.

The two cousins were so excited to ride in the boat!


And then we started going fast. Look at the hair!


Somebody was so tired she fell asleep holding her cup in one hand and her cracker in the other one. I tried to lay her down and take the cracker out of her hand, but apparently it was much more comfortable having her face squished into the life vest while holding on to her cracker for security.

Way Back Wednesday: Damn I was hot!

This week the Kept Woman wants us to show off our hot young selves.

Hottie at 20 with my boyfriend Hendrix on New Year's Eve.

I still have that sparkly shirt in my closet, 8 YEARS LATER. Is that too long to hold on to a piece of clothing you hardly wear anymore??

And at 23. Ahhh, so young, tan, skinny, and had all the time in the world to fix my hair...

Love that dress. Still in my closet too. Will fit into it again. Someday.

Here I'm all dressed up for the Millenium New Year's Eve...

Another good hair night that took like 3 hours of preparation. (all for my sexy boyfriend Dwayne)
This dress got thrown out a few months ago after I made the mistake of trying it on. My new bore-two-childen-body spit it back out at the mirror!

My sweet new ride

This is my new ride, BOB.


BOB rocks!
I have been searching for many months for the perfect jogging stroller. BOB is my man now.
Just look at his huge canopy... a must in sunny Texas.
And his striking complexion... I won't ever lose him in a crowd.
His big solid frame and robust wheels... I can take him anywhere.

I really took BOB for one good ride this morning! Lots of panting, sweating, and moaning... and I can't wait to use him again.
Thank you BOB!

My husband got so plastered last night!

Yep, I was moping around about our cat Archie being gone and told Dwayne I wanted to do something to keep my mind off of him.
He said "Let's make my face mold."
Cool.
I got to plaster his face!

Here's the true hockey player with missing front tooth.


So, first we had to put the stocking cap on, lube his face up with Vaseline, and put makeup pads over his eyes.


Then came the plaster. Very fun! I highly suggest plastering someone's face if you are ever depressed.


At the end...


And we're done!


Dwayne wanted his face mold to send to off to have his goalie mask re-padded.
Whatever.
It was fun for me and I want to do it again!
Next time I want to get plastered while I plaster.

Ode to Sophia

When did you become such a big girl?

You like to pick out your own clothes,

You like to pick your nose.

You can put on your own shoes,

You can sit on the toilet and make big poo-poos.

You like to paint yourself with yogurt,

But girl, sometimes you can be such a little squirt!


I love you Sophia!!