The King and The Slobbery Kong

Here is King Hendrix.


And the slobbery Kong that you must throw for him at least 125 times a day.

I have found for the dog that can chew through a tennis ball a day and Frisbees by the hour, a Kong is the ultimate dog toy. It takes a good 6 months or longer to destroy one of these things.
Hendrix is VERY obsessive about his Kong (probably due to the OCD he inherited from the family).
Not only do you have to throw it repeatedly for him every time you walk outside, there is a certain protocol you must follow to play Kong with Hendrix.
First he runs around to search for the Kong he can't ever remember where he last left it. When he returns he has to slobber and chew on the Kong a minimum of 7 times before he will drop it. Then he nudges it to you with his nose and finally allows you to throw it.
If you try to take the Kong before he has fully slobbered it up, you will be DENIED! He will stand there and hold on to his Kong as if his dear life depended on it, but at the same time paw at you and give you the sad eyes that he wants to play.
You must follow the rules.
Slobber slobber slobber, then wait for the nudge.
Now, once you have the basic rules down you are obligated to play Kong over and over until your arm tires and you are covered in slobber up to your elbows.


Hendrix has been my baby for 11 years now.
Many years ago, I wanted to buy a pup for my boyfriend Todd. He said he wanted a blue heeler. I had never seen or heard of a blue heeler before, but have now come to know that heelers are the best dogs ever!
So we found this farm out in Bastrop that had heeler puppies and drove out to pick one. Todd picked out this sweet little red heeler puppy who puked in my car on the ride home. I didn't bond with Hendrix right away. But after one long road trip with him in the front seat on my lap the whole 12+ hours, we became best buds.
I stole him after Todd and I broke up.
Hendrix has been my protector, my confidant, my date, my exercise buddy, my cow herder, my pillow, my buddy, and my favorite dog for 11 years.


One of the funniest things about Hendrix is his persistence. He will keep after until he gets his way.
I used to take him to the river with me many times a week down in San Marcos. He would endlessly entertain us as we were swimming and sucking back a few beers.
He would first find a stick and bring it over for you to throw. He'd fetch the stick in the river, over the rocks, down the cliffs...but after a few throws with that stick he would come back with a bigger one. A few more throws and he would come back with an even bigger one. This would continue until he was literally dragging an entire tree branch 7 feet long over to you to throw. And would whine and whimper if you couldn't lift it up to throw for him!

Now we do have another dog, Toni, and I will tell her story another day, but you will never see a picture of her. For some strange unknown reason as soon as she sees a camera she heads for the hills. Every single time. Even when I'm trying to be sneaky and hide it behind my back. You won't see her until a good half an hour after the camera is put away.
Weird.

Way Back Wednesday: My 15 Minutes of Fame

The Kept Woman wants us to play her game of Way Back Wednesday... our "Fifteen minutes of fame! Lets see any theatrical/dance/etc. productions that you've taken part in, even if it is just you being a drama queen."

So here I am with my sister. Just look at that angelic smug on my face and you can tell it wasn't too far of a stretch pretending to be an angel.


And here I am dressed in my normal attire that I usually wore to school.


Just kidding.
I don't know what the heck I was trying to do except dress up and probably act out some rock star fantasy of one kind or another.
...Back in the glory days of childhood where you didn't know better and didn't care.
Now I just stick with the latter.

I had somethig brilliant to say and then I forgot

What I do know is that if you are open minded enough and are not a homophobe you should go see the excellent film, Brokeback Mountain.
Beautiful cinematography and a great but tragic love story (plus the guys are HOT!).
It definitely kept me thinking for longtime afterward...

My two hot guys:


And I know I have two goals for the next few months.
1. Exercise
2. Don't smoke

I tried a jog/half walk this morning with the kids in the BOB up and down our hilly neighborhood.
Kicked. my. ass.
My lungs were on fire and I felt like I was either going to puke or pass out.
That's when I decided all those nighttime cigarettes I had smoked the last week were taking their toll.
No more.
An occasional smoke when I get to go out and have a few drinks is ok, but I cannot become a smoker smoker again.

And exercise feels good. I feel good physically and a whole lot mentally. I have more confidence and I am happier when I exercise. I have an easier time actually doing this when I am already exercising, the hard part for me is just getting started. So today I started.

And those are my goals.
Simple enough. I am going to write them on a piece of paper and tape them to my mirror so I see them everyday and remember.
Exercise and Don't Smoke.

One Crabby Lady

That would be me.
My idea of a fun Saturday morning DOES NOT include an awakening at 6:30 am.
Nor does it include a day of shopping at Target or going out to eat with crabby, impatient children.
Yes, you heard me correctly. I did not enjoy shopping at Target. Not with my kids today.
Holden and Sophie started out in the cart and Holden lasted about 3 minutes when we first stopped to look at the kid's clothes. He wants out. He wants Daddy. He wants Mommy. He doesn't want Mommy or Daddy. Then Sophie wants out. Holden is trying to figure out a way to use all his body weight and fling himself out of my arms. Sophie is running around and apparently on her own adgenda.
I am trying to pick out pajamas kids!
On to the little girl panty aisle. Holden's back in the cart for the ride over. Sophie is back in the cart. Holden is crying. Sophie and I pick out some panties.
Back in the cart where Sophie and Holden each get to hold a package of panties.
Ahhhhhh. Quiet for 2 minutes.
All the panties are now out of the packeges and Holden is eating the plastic wrapping.
Whatever.
He's sitting in the cart and he's not crying.
On to the next order of business...
After 15 minutes of pass-the-baby-back-and-forth game, pulling things off the shelves to try and entertain him with, chasing Sophie around the store and returning all the maxi pads she has pulled off the shelves, while trying to get the rest of our shopping done, I was D.O.N.E. and ready to run out of there screaming!

Then we had the brilliant idea we'd go have lunch at Johnny Carino's.
We must have left our parent brains at home in bed and forgot the fact that the children were already hungry and about 40 minutes past their normal lunchtime, not to mention we were creeping up quickly on the beloved Naptime.
Hungry, crabby, tired, impatient kids and eating out DO NOT MIX.
Could even be considered more lethal than drinking and driving.

How do you think this story ends?

a) Mommy and Daddy quickly down as many alcoholic drinks as they can in a half an hour as to be able to tolerate the unruly children
b) Screaming, crying, and Food To Go.
c) Mommy and Daddy excuse themselves to the bathroom but secretly leave the children behind and make a mad dash out of there!

I wonder where he gets his good looks from

This happy little guy is a cuddly 10 month old who likes to play with balls and eat dog food.
He is obsessed with the wheels on Sophie's little baby stroller which is forever bugging the living %@#* out of her. heh heh
He is going to have to be one tough kid to put up with all his big sister's bullying.
Last weekend she was literally trying to drag him out of her new tent. He is learning quickly though and can hold himself up better so when she tries to push him over it only works half the time now. And he has learned how to hold onto the pen of Sophie's Magnadoodle with such power that even I have a hard time prying it out of his hands.


Holden: The boy who can do the half crawl-half scoot like nobody.

(P.S. That is NOT a bruise left by Sophie under his chin. Merely his cute birthmark, a hemangioma, which is underneath his skin.)

The TuTu NuNu LuLu Princess

You don't know what I'm talking about?
Neither do I.
This is some new nonsense rhyming language Sophie has come up with and entertains herself by speaking in tongues.



"What would you like to eat Sophie?"
"Tutu."
"Tutu?"
"No, nunu."
"Is it a tutu or a nunu?
"Poo. Tutu Nunu. Coo."



And we go around in circles speaking this silly language.
Today I am "pooter", yesterday I was "nene."

We seem to go on a "word of the day" theme here.
Today we are back to "tutu."
That was her response to the doctor's hello today at my appointment.
"Tutu."
I have taught her well I see.



Oh, the girl is a silly one.



But she has also been downright nasty. Hitting and kicking her brother because he dares touch HER stuff (and did I tell you that EVERYTHING is hers...the toys, the dog, the rug, the books, the table, the stroller,...)
I won't allow hitting and when she has to sit in time-out she hits and kicks at me, screaming and carrying on so loud that the neighbors 3 miles away can hear her!

I will takes the NuNu's and CooCoo's anyday over the terrible Two-Two's.

Haaaaaapppy holidays!

I know, you thought that was me for a second.
We get confused so often.
Ha. Ha.
No. That's just my new book I got for Christmas from my FAVORITE show!

Christmas was grand! It was a whirlwind of busyness and fun.
My parents, sister, BIL, nephew, and neice all came and stayed with us. The kids were so excited for Christmas and had a great time playing together.




Just get a load of the beer gut on little Miss Hailey.


My dad.


My mama.


So yeah, I AM blogging on New Year's Eve. That's how cool we are.
Kids are sleeping...thank god.
poor baby Holden has an ear infection and has been miserable the last few days. Has also kept us up for the last 4 nights.
So we decided to have a quiet night at home.
Dwayne's watching hockey and I'm blogging. We've got beer.
How much better can it get than that??

But THE BEST present I just got today...

I have been wanting a good DSLR for a loooong time. I have been trying to save money for one, but it's kind of hard when you don't have a paying job. So with half the money from Dwayne and the other half from the money I saved my birthday, selling old baby stuff, and Christmas I went and picked out this sweet little thang.
WOO HOO!

And here's my first picture...

My sweet love.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

the Christmas Gang

Sophie carefully lined up her little friends. They were much easier to photograph than two children I know.

Big Baby, Santa, Christmas Doggie, Canada Bear, Little Baby, Wrong Baby, Merry Christmas Froggy, and Sophie.

This is my Purple Frosty waving to you and telling you thankfully it's too warm here for real snow.

The blah blahs

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
(sung to the tune of Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)

And that's about how I feel lately. Blah.
Nothing too exciting, funny, or creative, but nothing ugly or horrible either to write about. which could actually be a good thing.

We are all decorated and ready for Christmas. Sophie and I love to sing Christmas songs everyday. Her favorite is Jingle Bells. Holden dances along.
Sophie thinks you are to wear the Christmas stockings on your feet and keeps asking where her other one is.
She does "get" the Christmas thing this year and I have even pulled the Santa card a few times.
She wants to kick and fight me getting dressed...
"Santa's watching you Sophie. He knows if you're being naughty and he only likes to bring presents to good little girls and boys."
She thnks about it and decides to get dressed nicely after that.
Ha ha

Holden has learned his own method of moving about now. He uses his hands like in a crawling motion but from a sitting position, puts one foot down flat on the floor in front of him, lifts up his tushy and uses his foot and hands to push himself forward.
Quite cute.
He is very proud of himself and is so happy to get into all of Sophie's toys now.
She is not quite as thrilled.

My mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, nephew and niece, will all be here next week to celebrate Christmas together. I can't wait to see them all!

And that's the word from the Land of Blah Blahs.

lots to share

(as I type with one finger here due to new cool wrist splints on each hand)
A few shots to share...

these are from last weekend's trip to Houston for Miss Carrie's 30th Mad Hatter Bday party.
The kids thought the hotel bed was way cool and fun to play on. Way cooler than the beds at home.


Mom and Holden in their wacky hats.


Sound asleep on the drive home.


At home here.
Sophie loves to pile up as much crap as she can onto her little cart and baby stroller and run them around the house like some crazy bag lady.
Here we have all her babies piled up.

It kinda looked sick to me like bodies piled up so I had to get a shot of them.
Just so you know, none of her babies wear clothes. The big one is named "Big Baby" the little one on top is "Little Baby" and the little one on the left is "Carla."

And her's my new haircut. Got 4 inches chopped off and some pretty golden highlights. Merry Christmas hair!


I wish it was easier to type cause I have a lot more to say, but I'll have to give my hands a rest now.

I've got the Blogging Blues

It's been hard for me to blog a lot because my wrists and forearms have been killing me. I went to the doctor and I now have to wear wrist splints for my carpal tunnel syndrome, as well as going to a physical therapist. Yikes, like when am I going to squeeze that in?!? Let's just hope they are kid friendly there.
So it's pretty hard and very slow to type with these things on.

But anyway. It's getting cold outside...brrrrr. We are staying in, keeping warm, and trying to get over our colds. I feel like we have all been sick so much. We'll get better and have a good week of everyone well and then someone starts with the coughing and runny nose again. Then before you know it we've all got it again. Argh!

So Holden can say "mamma" now and can pull himself up into a standing position. He loves to eat finger foods and is a happy little guy.
Sophie is CONSTANTLY taking away whatever toy he's playing with. She has more than enough toys of her own, but for some reason the one Holden has is always more appealing. It could be a piece of dirt or a puddle of spit, but as long as Holden is happy playing with it she has to come snatch it away and ruin his good times.
Very frustrating.
It'll only get better when Holden learns to snatch them back and run away.

And that's about all the news for today.

It's Been Awhile

I just realized I haven't blogged in over a week! crazy.
Our Oma/Trudy has been in town the last 10 days and it was busy busy busy!
Lots of food, wine, playing, and shopping. It's amazing how it all flew by and seemed like only a few days.

We had a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner. Trudy and I worked hard for two days to prepare a most delicious meal. She is like a Martha Stewart only sexier and more fun! But she can cook and put together a party like nobody can. I've been taking notes.
We had our Finnish friends over with their little girl for their very first American Thanksgiving. Sophie and her little friend tore it up... running around playing and laughing all the way!

Here they are taking a moment to pause and reflect on all the things they are thankful for.

We DID NOT do the after-Thanksgiving-biggest-shopping-day-of-the-year sales. Never have. And probably never will unless you feed me some chocolate covered Xanax. I know there are some fantastic deals out there to be had that day, but I just can't do it. Too many crowds make me coo-coo.
BUT, we did do some great shopping in the many days after. I am now officially and absolutely done with my Christmas shopping!
My next feat will be the Christmas cards.

We also went to the annual Blue Santa Parade downtown. The only day it's rained all month.

But it was exciting for the kids to see all the bands, floats, musicians, giant floating characters, costumes, cheerleaders, and Santa too! We forgot to bring our toy to donate again this year. I had one, still sitting up in the closet from last year. I swear next year we are really going to remember.


It always seems so weird around Thanksgiving and Christmas here because you're out shopping for your tree and decorations, but it's so warm you're wearing shorts and flip flops.


We have exciting plans to drive to Houston this weekend for my friend Carrie's 30th birthday party. Woo woo!
Wait till she sees the present Percy got her for correctly identifying his spiderness type. You do remember Percy don't you??
We haven't seen Percy around ever since our handy man Jim came over to put screens in the kitchen windows and accidently probably on purpose knocked down his web. Percy scrambled quickly into our deck umbrella and hasn't reappeared yet. I haven't opened the brella to see if he's still in there and he hasn't come out to spin another beautifully ginormous web for us. That might have been the last sighting of Percy. We'll see...
you never know if Percy was really a Percella and might have left us many many of her offspring. ahhhh!

Oma's in town!

Oma (Dutch for Grandma) came all the way from Canada to visit us!
We have been having gorgeous weather and some good times.
The kids are well again and much happier. So is Mom.

I bought the kids a little playhouse for the backyard and they've been having a blast!



I know you can't hardly see him he is so camoflauged, but that's Holden on the couch. My big 8 month old boy! He loves to talk and play. He can feed himself finger foods and loves to eat. And he is trying trying to get his butt off the floor so he can crawl.


And today Sophie was "organizing" all of Oma's toiletries. Oma/Trudy and I were busy talking and looking at clothes. Meanwhile Sophie was very busy too. Lipsticks, lotions, earplugs, tissues, makeups, pantyliners, q-tips, bandaids, etc, etc. Her day in Heaven... dumped, organized, opened, sorted, shoved in drawers, squeezed, put in purses, taken back out, fingered, stuck in ears, squirted, hidden again...
...and then we turned around to see the masterpiece she created.

Brilliant.

I'm glad to know that Going Crazy is still cool

Thank you all for letting me know that I'm not the only one that goes crazy sometimes and it's even normal!
Weird thing is, today was about the exact opposite of what the last few weeks have been like.
Kids were well enough to go to their morning preschool, otherwise known as give-mommy-a break-time.
They both took long naps AT THE SAME TIME.
Rock on.
We had an entire dinner without whining or crying.
I can't even remember the last time that happened.

Hmmm, now I'm wondering if this is all too good to be true.

Oh well. Amen for today!

My White Trash Baby

My White Trash Baby
Originally uploaded by lucky lum.

What else can I say...
no shirt, hanging out in underwear, pot belly sticking out, busted lip, crazy hair, red swollen eyes

A Big Fat Rant

So if you don't want to hear my bitching and whining then change the channel now.

It has been a horrible day. It has been a horrible three weeks. All I hear everyday is crying. Crying crying crying. Whining whining whining. From both of the children. They are both sick with colds that they've had on and off for the last three weeks. They both wake up at the crack of dawn these days since the stupid time change. I am crabby tired and FED UP with them everyday. But on top of that I feel horrible for even feeling that way.
Somedays (most days) I feel like shaking them and screaming "SHUT UP AND LEAVE MOMMY ALONE!" And then I cry because I don't want to feel like that. It's my choice to stay home with them and what kind of mother am I if I can't stand to be around them?!?
Somedays Sophie refuses to take a nap and she NEEDS a nap. Around 4:30-5:00 it is Melt Down City for her. Constant crying and whining. Dwayne and I keep checking our watches and ask each other "How early is too early to put her too bed?"
We try and hold out til at least 7.
Holden's really been a nightmare. He screams. Screams screams screams if you dare put him down for 6 seconds. But Holden I have to brush my teeth and I can't do that or go poop, or put on my shoes, or get dressed, or make my sandwich while I'm holding you. Why can't you understand that and just stop screaming!?!!
I wish I could keep it together but after hearing his screaming and crying for so long it grates on my nerves and I start to hate him.
And then I hate myself for even thinking that.

Of course I love them both.
But when is it going to get better around here? When are my nice children coming back?!?
I feel stretched out and worn thin and I don't like the mother I am when I feel this way.
Do other people's children act this way?

I hate those mothers that portray motherhood as a piece of cake. The ones that say they have easy babies, the ones with babies that never had problems sleeping, never screamed and cried for hours on end, and the ones that say they would like to have four more! What planet do they come from?? I hate those mothers and they make me feel like an incompetent parent.

So you know what would make me feel better?
Tell me your awful children stories. Tell me how much your children scream, cry, whine, don't sleep, and sometimes you just want to bang your head against the wall.
That would make me feel a whole lot better.

Oh oh oh, who's that kid with the Oreo cookie?

Oreo face
Originally uploaded by lucky lum.

Nothin cuter than an Oreo face

As if you needed another reason to love Target

Look at these cute cute humidifiers we got for the kids' rooms!


Froggie for Sophie's room


And Pin Pin for Holden.

I swear we have been passing around this cold/virus thingy for the last two-three weeks. Someone gets better, then the next person gets sick, and the next one, by the time they are feeling better the first person who got it is sick all over again.
Will it ever go away or will we just continue to pass it around and around like a merry-go-round?

Good Things

Good Things:
This wine...

...after this kind of day

(they look they same don't they?)

Back to good things...
Air conditioning, sweet love from Dwayne, getting your Christmas shopping done early, "A Million Little Pieces", sleeping children, iTunes, and the yummy dinner I made tonight.

It's the Great Outdoors Way Back Wednesday

If you've lived in Texas than you know how beautiful the Spring can be with miles and miles of wildflowers...fields and fields of bright blues, purples, pinks, whites, yellows, oranges, reds,...it is quite a magnificent sight!

This was my first spring experiencing the beautiful bluebonnet phenomenon. (1995)

As I have learned the tradition here is that you take your kids and throw them in the bluebonnets on the side of the road and take their picture every year.

This little stop in the bluebonnets was on the way back from a day at Enchanted Rock. We went hiking, rock climbing, and repelling. And here I am going down the side of a big rock.

And that my friends is a wonderful Texas Spring Day in the great outdoors!

Oh but I'm not done there.
Here's my Dwayne out four-wheeling in his Land Rover. (1999)

What's funny is that he used to go up these big hills for the fantastic views of Austin quite often. Little did he know 4 years later we'd own a house just on the other side of this big hill!

Happy Wednesday ya'll!

Did you know it's still hot here?

Today and for the last few days it's been high temp of 87 degrees or so. And our downstairs AC went out Friday evening. AND we can't open the windows in the kitchen to get a cross breeze because they have no screens. So it's more like 90 degres in the house. ARGH!!! I don't like it. It's hot and it's November and it shouldn't be this hot still in November. And the AC guy is supposed to be here BETWEEN 12 AND 8. 12 and 8?!?! Come on! I don't want to wait in this oven for 8 hours!
Now on the positive side, at least it didn't happen in the middle of summer.

I have nothing else nice or funny to say until my AC is fixed.

This might be the day Mom loses it

Ever since this bloody time change, my children have been waking up at 6AM. 6AM!
That's just entirely too early for me.
We have tried keeping their cranky, whiny, crying butts up later (that's a lot of fun let me tell you), but they still awoke at 6AM. So then we tried the sleep begets sleep theory and put them to bed earlier. Still 6AM awakening.
But this morning folks we had a change.
An unpleasant surprise at 5:20AM...
Sophie crying.
I told Dwayne we're not getting her. She's gotta learn to sleep in longer and we should stop getting her every morning.
We listened to her screaming for 5 minutes.
"Daaaaaadddddddyyyyyy! Daaaaaaddddyyyyyy!" over and over and over.
"Why can't she call your name?" Dwayne says
The Daddy theme song went on for another 5 minutes.
Then we hear, "Daaaadddyyy, I have big poo poo!"
Great. Now we have to go get her.
She was changed and came to our bed. At that point Holden had woken up also and was in our bed.
No one went back to sleep.

And so folks, I am asking for your help.
How how how can I get these kids to sleep in longer??!!??
I know for starters Dwayne and I need to go to bed earlier so we can at least get more sleep. But any ideas would greatly be appreciated!

Like, it's totally way back Wednesday!

The Kept Woman wanted us to drag out some pictures we've been dying to show as we've been rifling through our photos each week searching for our Way Back Wednesday digs.
I didn't have any I was particularly dying to show, but I have pulled out some of the classics.

I'll start with this one I found of Dwayner and I back in the dating days. I believe this was one of those times we were in the "off" position of our ongoing on-again-off-again dating but still friends (who do it sometimes) relationship.
We look gorgeous after a night of drinking... (but look, Dwayne has HAIR!)


And I couldn't pass this one up of cutie little Dwayne.

He was all dressed up (who picked out those clothes?!?) to be the ring bearer for his Uncle Bill's wedding. You can tell he was ecstatic about it.

Must of had something on my mind.


And for the grande finale...

It's me! Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow... If I'm in a bar and Janis comes on, you better believe I'll be jumpin up and belting out "Piece of My Heart" till I get kicked out!

You knew these were coming

Happy Halloween!

Behold The Pumpkin and The Fairy


We had a great and not-so-great weekend.
Saturday we ventured over to Pioneer Farms for a Fall Festival filled with farm animals, live music, crafts, and of course the pioneer village to explore. Sophie enjoyed apple bobbing, making animal sounds at the farm animals, and even sewed her own bean bag. That was part of the great part.


The not-so-great part was me being sick and feeling like doggy doo-doo. And Dwayne had a hockey tournament which meant he was pretty much gone the entire weekend. I'm glad he had fun (ok, not really) but it certainly sucked for me!

Let me tell you the other sucky part before I try to think of something else that would fit into the great part of the weekend.
This blasted time change!
My children are getting up at 6am and are cranky, whiny, and tired the whole day because they need to go to bed, but I'm trying to keep them up a little longer so they'll go to bed on time and not wake up even earlier than they are.
Why don't they get that you're supposed to GAIN an hour? Go back to sleep!!!

Ok so the other great parts of the weekend. Hmmmmmm...
Yeah, I got one!

I got some good pictures. Check them out here if you wanna see! (you've seen some of them already but I added the new ones to the end)
Now go eat lots of candy!