Monday, January 28, 2008

We also own this one.

in between giggles

Sophie.
Our first-born is now four and a half and she is a piece of work. just like her mother some might say (someone does say).
Searching for the right words to describe her and her unique sophie ways…
Emotionally high strung and sensitive. Linguistically gifted. Wild and silly, yet cerebral. A mastermind of imagination. She's quite skilled at inventing extravagant stories that leave you wondering if she hasn’t gotten a hold of some potent LSD, or quite possibly she’s just schizophrenic with multiple personalities. with all her imaginary toads and whatnot..

She loves furry animals, anything pink, doing crafts, and things her way.
While she can be cute, loving, and downright adorable,
she also has the ability to drive me to the brink of complete insanity.
Literally, one day I told her I was going to take her out to the woods and leave her there if she didn’t stop screaming.
Because her screams can shatter windows.
And her barking is even worse. Barking, I said.
My daughter has been a dog for almost half of her life.
Back when she was three it was kind of cute that she pretended to be a dog.
She would crawl around on all fours and ask us to buy her and give her a name. We'd have to groom her and throw her a stick. She'd bark out answers to us (in English and Spanish) and want to go pee outside like a dog.
But now that the dog phase has carried on well past four, it is no longer cute.
Just. freaking. annoying.
Her shrill, piercing barks are like breaking glass over my head.
For the love of god why does my child have to scream and bark at a level far beyond the normal range allowed before you are rendered completely deaf.
Can’t she pretend to be a tree or something? Trees don’t bark. Trees don’t insist on pooping in the grass.
I just wonder if we can have her kenneled so we can take a vacation…

6 comments:

TBG said...

This is hysterical. My nephew will be 5 at the end of February and the dog phase oh my it has been going on forever. He insists on peeing outside but when does so lifts his leg just like a dog. Peeing on all fours with the leg in the air. Can only imagine what the neighbors are thinking. Sophie might have met her future soul mate in him as they both wish they were dogs and can furiously bark!

Anonymous said...

Sophie...so cute...she's getting so "grown-up"...i bet that girl has the ability to wrap everyone she meets around her little finger!

You have two sweet babies!

Melissa

Kat said...

Bwahahahahaha....

I can laugh, because I don't have kids yet. I'm sure in the future, you will laugh at me when I do have kids and start writing posts like this.

Love those little Lummins!!!

Mom said...

Hilarious, but true! Your dad and I laughed out loud when we read this description of Sophie. I can hardly wait to read what you will say about Holden!

Queen "B" said...

OMG That is hysterical, I thought that my boy was the only one with a high pitched "bark". So sorry about that, at least you do not have your child peeing in your front yard with the neighbors watching. Good luck with Holden.

Memphis Steve said...

You still crack me up!