Friday, March 31, 2006

Clarifications on my last post...
1.Twenty dollars is my top price for an entire outfit. I hardly ever even pay that much, maybe for a special occasion or such.
I like to shop the clearance racks, the thrift shops, or with grandparent's pocket books!

2. Leave me alone with my little pooch! You people may think I look great in my clothes, but you've not seen me naked!! (or at least not recently)

3. Now have a happy Friday!
This week has been a bitch and I can't wait for the weekend.
Dwayne's been out of town all week leaving me and the Lummins to fend for ourselves.
Preschool was cancelled Tuesday due to power outage from big storm. Dammit, I was totally counting on having that time for myself! And then Holden got sick, has a sinus infection. So instead of getting my morning off again, we had to run around to doctor's offices and pharmacies yesterday.
I require a break after 24 hours, 5 days of being on call!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

You know I’m thinking in numbers tonight…

1 : This is my favorite shirt. It’s actually Holden’s shirt.
favorite shirt

Here’s why I love this shirt so much. And why it’s in the trash.
Ninety-seven cents. (on clearance at the Giant Red Bullseye)
Ninety seven cents people!
Now that is what I’m talking about. You can’t even buy a candy bar for that price anymore.
I absolutely will not spend more than twenty dollars, and that’s top price, on my kids clothes. Call me cheap if you want, but I find it absolutely ridiculous to spend that amount of money on kid’s clothes. I don’t care how cute they are.
My kids cannot eat a single meal without sharing some of the contents with their garb, as well as mine.
Holden scooter-butts around instead of crawling. When we go outside I usually have to remove his entire outfit encased with mud, water, sand, leaves, food, and rocks.

This is my favorite Holden shirt because now that it's covered in spaghetti stains, outgrown, and been worn over 37 times- I can gleefully throw it in the trash because it only cost 97 cents!
Who cares!

Bubble gum, bubble gum, in a dish,
How many pieces do you wish?
bubble gum

What do you think of my new HOT bikini in Bubble Gum from Victoria’s Secret??
Clearance sale of course.
But more importantly here, Am I ready for swimsuit season??
Eee gads no!
All these beers and blogging have given me a little pooch.
Ok, well MAYBE the two Lummins I bore had something to do with that as well…

3: I’ve hit speed bump here and I’m a day late on my weekly poll.
I know you have all been patiently awaiting the results show and my insightful commentary.
Last poll question was-
On a scale of 1-10 (ten being the most) how much do you care about your appearance when you leave your house?
With a total of 43 votes (Rock the Vote!!), the majority of responders rated themselves a 7 or 8.
Except for the top answers and 4, all the other number responses were chosen equally among voters.
NO ONE chose the answer 4. Why not four? I’m very curious about this whole four thing. And think I might change my thesis to “The Mysteries of Number Four”.
Ok maybe not much of a thesis, but it sounds cool in my beer-logged head right now.

It’s been a long week. And it’s only fucking Wednesday.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The Best of The Worst

In honor of Way Back Wednesday 80's style, I present you the outfit that Sophie, all-by-her-Lum-self, created.
eighties girl

She absolutely insisted on wearing this belt even after the 12 times of my pleading the you can't wear a belt if you don't have belt loops defense.
She didn't hear a single word.
And I will let her make her own desicions. Even if she has to suffer the embarrasing consequences.
Although looking through the latest Victoria's Secret catalogue, I see the 80's style-leggings, long t-shirt cinched with a belt look is making a comeback.

The following two pictures come in at a close tie for my FUGLIEST picture:

Don't know if this was the 80's or not,
but does it matter?

Is that fucking dirt around my mouth?? Or is it chocolate?
No clue.
Niiiiice hair as well!
I apparently seem to have an infatuation of taking self portraits. Always have, which I discovered while flipping through the colossal amount of self portraits last night.
I'm a dork.


I think I've made up my mind. This picture definitely out does the previous one.
If only for the mere fact that there are THREE Fuglies in this picture!
Let's focus on that one over on the right. Me.
Need I say more?

As much as I hate the styles in that picture, it is one of my favorites.
Because it represents the sign of those times. And it's the three girls in our family.
Do you believe in karma?
I totally do.

So I’m wondering, what’s going to happen to me after I did this to the mammoth ant mound?? (a mound that was clearly home to over 3 million fire ants)
fire ants

While out in the yard this past weekend grooming and attending to our fine green friends, I came upon this mound of dirt. I didn’t see any ants and wondered if it was still an active mound. So I gave it little a kick.
It was definitely active!! An ocean of ants came swarming out!!
Seeing that I had already done the damage, I kicked some more. Figuring I might as well kick the whole damn thing down.
As I watched the worker ants scurrying around in a frenzy and all the maggot-like larva that would never become future fire ants, I felt a little bad.
At first I thought they might all team up and come after me, but then I figured I’d be able to outrun them.
Yes, I’m silly.
But that’s when I starting pondering the whole karma thing…
I mean I know fire ants are not the greatest of creatures, in fact they are pretty nasty. It’s not as if they just politely tell you to move if you happen to sit on one. No, they will bite your ass! And it will itch and hurt for days.
But still, they are creatures of the earth. And it’s not nice to just kill animals for no good reason. (ok, besides scorpion).
So is karma going to get me back for this?
I did destroy an entire ant mound. After kicking it all up I went and grabbed the spray can of ant killer. A few ants had already gotten away and made their way up my pants. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! I didn't want them to all gang up on me and finish the job. Or just move a few feet down and rebuild their ant abode. So I finished off as many as I could with the kill spray!

So was my destruction of the ant colony unforgiveable, will I get the grand payback somewhere down the line?
Or do you think I’m justified because they are simply nasty, harmful, evil little pests?

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Remember Bud and Sissy?
Their Sweet Baby Girl (SBG) was born prematurely with a rare and critical condition that causes fluid to build up in her lungs and head. That’s the short version.
SBG is six weeks old now. She is strong and has a will to survive!


Sissy sent me this picture. I cried when I first looked. And still do.
This picture evokes many strong emotions and speaks a thousand words to me…

I can see so much love in Sissy’s kiss. I can see pain and hurt in her face. I see her fear that her baby girl might not make it. I see her hope with everyday that passes that her baby will survive. I see her unspoken words: don’t give up baby girl... you are my love... I’m here for you... I know you’re going to make it…

I see a fragile baby with a look in her eyes that says she’s scared and helpless. She needs her Mommy. She needs her family’s love and tenderness.
Her life has been a constant whirlwind of tests, tubes, needles, doctors, nurses, pokes and prods. She doesn’t understand, but she can feel.

You just want to pick up her tiny, tiny body and hold her next to you.
You want to take away all her pain and place it upon yourself.
You pray and you cry.

Everyday is a battle for SBG. The last time I spoke with Sissy she told me they almost lost their baby girl a day before. They were down to doing chest compressions. I can barely even write that sentence without breaking down and sobbing my eyes out for them.

Their lives have become accustomed to a world I cannot even imagine.
The daily hospital visits, the waiting, crying hoping and praying.
The unknown and unpredictability of their daughter’s condition, where her circumstances change with each day and each moment. Holding their breaths.
Putting their lives on hold. Living in automatic mode.
They also have a two year old son to care for and try to keep his world as normal as possible.

You never expect these things to happen to you. But they do happen to us.
And it puts your whole world into an entire new perspective.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about Bud, Sissy, and SBG. I have saved two pieces of cake from SBG’s baby shower, the day she was born, and I’m saving them in my freezer as good luck charms. When SBG comes home from the hospital we will bring them to them and celebrate her life!
I know that the day will come. I can only hope it will come soon.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Nearly every other time I go to pick Sophie up from her little preschool class, her teacher laughs and says "Sophie, tell your mommy what you said today!"
I brace myself. The first time I actually cringed, fully expecting to hear one of my expletives come out of Sophie's mouth. Hoping not to be disgraced, but fulled loaded with a defense about her older cousin's potty mouth, Wondering if she said the big F word or a nice Jee-zus Christ?! this is a church preschool after all.
Luckily it's been none of those so far.
The first story was the day her teacher bent over and Sophie lovingly came up, smacked her bum, and says "I got your boo-tay!"
And she amused them another time when she stuck her hand up her dress and announced she was "getting her wedgie out."
At least she knows all the appropriate terms for body parts (boo-tay) and will understand why Mommy wears a thong (you don't everr have to pull out your wedgie).
Thank goodness her teachers have a sense of humor!!
They think she is hysterical.
This week when Sophie told them all about the weiner dog, Oscar, staying with us they taught all the children the Oscar Meyer Weiner song!

I might just have to invite those crazy preschool teachers out for a beer night!
Then I can tell them all about Sophie's "hangovers."

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

So did you know I was married to a Canadian?
And when you marry a someone from the country of Beavers & Beer you get a free t-shirt!

Now on to more serious matters...
My last poll question was how would you react if your mate told you he/she had had a lover of the same sex before you knew each other?
With a total of 35 votes we have the following answers:
Cool= 14 people
Not Cool=21 people

So I'm guessing that I have more female readers, and like Egel pointed out, women would tend to be less forgiving and some even completely disgusted with knowledge of their mate's past gay relationship.
Whereas the men would be more forgiving and quite turned with hearing of a past lesbian affair. If they are of the typical man type. And then quite possibly might ask if you'd like to try it again sometime while he watches.
So the answers weren't too surprising.
For me, I think it would matter more how serious the past relationship/fling was.

On to the new question of the week. Hoping to learn how vain you really are.

On a scale of 1-10, with ten being the most, how much do you care about your appearance before leaving the house?

Whether it's a quick trip to the grocery, going to work, shopping at the mall, the gym, a hot date, whatever...think about your overall average.

Now it's time to go vote.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Did ya know...
Canadian Boys

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Fine, fine. If you must know. why the pain?
I have been paying off all my new shoes in hand jobs.

Seriously, I've had problems with my arms and wrists for awhile and have been going to physical therapy for months. Avoiding the medically technical terms, it's from carrying my near 25 pounder around all day, washing dishes 6 times an hour, wiping counters, cutting, cleaning, weeding, folding, blah, blah, blah...all the work of a housewife.
I'm like a 60 year old woman with arthritis.
It sucks though. It's not as if I'll be getting out of my mommy chores anytime soon.

I have been in major stress mode this week. And for what?
Stupid annoying stuff that I shouldn't even waste my time stressing about.
I need to relax.
My muscles have been super tight and I can't shut my brain off.
Is this the point where I go to the doctor and ask for some chill pills?

I just wanted to stay home and CHILL this weekend.
Nothing to do, nowhere to be.
It was the perfect day for that today. A gloomy, rainy day where you just want to stay in bed all day watching tv or curled up with a good book.
Well I didn't quite get to do that, but the children didn't wake at 5am and they both took long naps.
That's about as good as it gets around here.

We had some serious weiner love going on today as well...
weiner love

There's a Weiner in My Chair


Oscar is constant entertainment for the Lummins. And me.
He jumps and dances around making Sophie laugh and shout "Weiner Weiner Weiner!"
You can snuggle him in your lap where he makes these sweet little Weiner whimpers and grunts. He does have this tendency to try and kiss you on the lips and slip you a little tongue though. And he's just the right height to lick the snot off Holden's nose and repeatedly give him a face wash.
But you gotta love the little Weiner.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Due to the fact:
  • that I can no longer use my arms and fingers without pain; that in the evenings my forearms swell, ache, tingle, and go numb
  • that I did not get my requisite two mornings off this week because the Lummins' preschool is on spring break
  • that my children cannot go longer than five minutes without whining, screaming, or crying
I've had to take a small break from the computer this week.

Hot Babes

But for the next five days we will be graced with a visitor.
A visitor of the weiner variety.

weiner in a blanket

Oscar equals instant entertainment for the Lummins.
Maybe I'll get a break today.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Tuesday Doo-Dah

WTF? Do I really make faces like this?
a Jackie face

I found it. The picture of me in the Peter Rabbit dress that I passed on to Sophie.
little me

One more here.
Take a look.
dwayne baby
Holden right?

Nope, that's his Daddy as a baby.
They could be freakin twins.

And for the Grand Finale...

Question was: Do you watch porno movies?

3 people said No, Never
12 people said they had a Few Times Before
14 said they watch Occasionally
3 watch Often

A total of 32 votes.

Results seem just about right.
...following right along with that bell curve I've graphed in the name of research for my thesis on Bloggers and Their Dirty Secrets.

And onward to the new question of the week... (GO VOTE)

How would you react if your mate told you he/she had had a lover of the same sex before you knew each other?

Monday, March 13, 2006

first bites

Ok like I said, Holden doesn’t have any real friends himself yet, so Mommy decided to invite all our friends over for his Big Birthday Bash 2006.
Lots and lots of kids, food, cake, and booze! I don’t think you should be allowed to have a kid’s birthday party without beer. Am I right?

Holden had so much fun at his party, he was plum tuckered out by 6:30. So after he went to bed we opened his presents for him.
Just kidding, Sophie and her partner in crime only opened two of them.

As the host of a party it is somewhat difficult to fill all the responsibilites of a hostess AND lead photographer. I forgot to put forks out and I didn't get pics of all the guests. But hey that's what happens when you're drinking and trying to do 42 things at once!
I passed my baby Nik over to my cousin KK, another camera enthusiast who can fully appreciate a BAMF camera, and she and I grabbed some fabulous shots.

one year old

We had Holden's 1 year cheeckup at Dr.P's today. This boy is no longer slacking on the growth charts. High marks in all areas.
And great timing for our visit today because he's now sick and awoke a bagillion times last night with this HARUMPH of a cough that doesn't even sound human.

And now after two weeks of nonstop going,
I am completely and utterly exhausted.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Cake Drunk

cake drunk
Originally uploaded by lucky lum.
This picture pretty much sums up the party.

I have downloaded 155 pictures from this weekend.
This one will have to hold you over until I sort through them all...

Friday, March 10, 2006


Today is your birthday Holden.
One year ago you came out screaming. And you kept screaming. And screaming.
Even Dr.S, who has delivered hundreds of babies, couldn't believe how obnoxiously loud you could scream for so long. I didn't think you'd ever stop screaming.
We should have taken this as a sign of things to come.
You screamed and cried your little head off every evening for about the first five months of your life. You hated sleeping and loved to be held by Mommy all day.

March 10, 2005

A year later,
You are such a boy.
You are scooting your little butt around as fast as a jackalope. Pushing your little cars and trucks, and anything with wheels around on the floor. You love to throw things. And then say "uh-oh" in the most innocent way as if you had no connection at all to the objects being thrown around. "Thud."
You can eat an entire banana in less than 2 minutes. You are VERY impatient if you do not get your food at the exact moment that you demand it. You also weigh a ton.
You have a passion to lunge and throw yourself against us, the floor, the bed, or whatever you can throw yourself against.
You put everything in your mouth. This week I caught you eating handfuls of dirt outside while I was weeding the garden. I quickly realized that dirt in your mouth makes MUD. Yum.
You like to play in the dog bowls and toilet bowls. You enjoy knocking down trash cans and devouring dirty Kleenex. In fact, you pretty much get into everything.

eating the dogfood

I love you. You make us laugh and smile at your silliness.
You are so sweet. I can't help but succumb to grins and giggles when you flash us with your two-toothed grin.


We are having your birthday party tomorrow. We don't have our families here to invite and you don't really have any friends of your own, so we invited all our friends with lots of kids to run around and celebrate your special day.
Happy Birthday my Monkey!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Another Lummin installment

Here is my little girl, wearing the Peter Rabbit dress that was mine when I was a little girl.

She did pick out her own socks and shoes to match.
Yeah, well. She has her own sense of fashion.

What an incredibly nostalgic feeling watching my own flesh and blood run around in the same little threads I wore as a little girl... I imagine that my mom probably looked at me the same way and that I probably hopped around like a little jumping bean too!

kids in the doorway
Here we have the big hunk of boy Holden, and Sophie with the classic toddler smile plastered across her face.
All two year olds have one.
You know the smile, the one that looks nothing like a real smile.
They have this silly idea in their head that when someone says "smile" they need to squint their eyes, crinkle up their nose, show all their teeth in a rabbity sort of way, and say "cheeeeeeeeeeese!"

walkin away

Way Back Wednesday

Your treat for this Way Back Wednesday is bad hair accessories.
(TKW says so)


Chicken Heads!
That's me next to my good friend, Carrie, at the annual Wurstfest in New Braunfels, TX. Otherwise known as a good old fashioned beer drinking festival!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Awww, you guys are so nice!
But now you are making me doubt the whole nose job thing again dammit!

So enough about me and the Nose.

It's time for poll results...
The question was "If you could watch a video of yourself making love, would you want to?"
Yes= 45% (14 people)
No= 55% (17 people)

I have to say I'm totally surprised. It's pretty close, but I thought the results would have been the reverse.
So you guys aren't as big as pervs as I thought you were.
My next poll question will certainly help make my theory absolute.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Meet Nose

So last week, I posted a really hot picture of me in a bikini.
This week I thought I'd show you my Not-so-Hot side.

Nose, one of my lifelong insecurites.
something I obsess over

My nose is a huge flaw on my face.
This is no secret to those of you that know me in real life. I've always disliked my nose. It is big. And it never gets smaller as hard and often as I wish. I think I could handle just a big nose, but it is also very crooked and seems to just get more crooked every year!

I'm not fixated on having a perfect face or body by any means. I think beautiful, sexy people come in many different forms and sizes. Big noses, big asses...whatever. It's the whole person that defines their beauty.
But anyway, I want to look in the mirror and see a nicer nose.
I have been wanting a nose job for about 15-16 years. Of course my parents would never pay for something like that when I was a teenager. So at one point in my college career I had a job and went to the plastic surgeon to talk about fixing my nose. I was approved for financing and almost ready to go. But my mom and other family members were not so keen on the idea. And blahblahblah, it never happened.
It seems most people close to me have had one of the two reactions when I tell them I want the surgery.
1. But it's such a part of you...It makes you unique...You're so beautiful the way you are...
2. If you want to do it, go for it... If you want it that bad...if it will make you feel better, then you should do it!

Dwayne's reaction has been a perfect balance between the two. He loves me no matter.

Every picture of me I see, I see Nose.
Here's my closeup- no makeup, no fixed hair, or anything else trying to hide from Nose.
face close-up

It's big and crooked and it's getting fixed one day.

Anyone that would like to donate to my Get a New Nose Fund, may contact me by email and I will gladly give you our address so you can mail your contributions.

Friday, March 03, 2006



A few weeks ago, Sophie was invited to attend a birthday party where the children got to ride ponies. I thought she would for sure chicken-out when we got there. But after watching all the other little children ride Guinnevere, she was ready!
That's Guinnivere the Pony taking our Sophie Lummin around the ring for a few laps of excitement. I held on and followed beside, while my little girl giggled and smiled the whole way!
clippity-clop, clippity-clop...

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Yet another vast difference between men and women

When I clean the kitchen:
I wash the dishes by hand or put them in the dishwasher
The sinks are clean and empty
Leftovers are put away
Table and counters are wiped down
There are no sippy cups or other various dishes still sitting around
The kitchen is clean.

In our house after dinner, I usually clean up the kitchen and straighten up while Dwayne takes the Lummins upstairs for a bath.
There is damn good reason why I always cheerfully offer to clean up downstairs.
Sophie screams veryveryvery loud throughout her entire bath! The water makes her skin itch, she hates when Holden splashes her, the washcloth touched her leg and it hurt, she wants to get out, on and on and on... but she absolutely cannot even stand to hear the words "it's time to wash your hair" without immediately freaking out and screaming at the top of her lungs until the entire hair washing process is complete.
Yes, I love to do the dishes.

After dinner the other night Sophie and I head upstairs after a brief chat with our neighbors outside. Dwayne is starting the bath water and says to me, "Oh, and don't worry. I already cleaned up the kitchen."
"You did?"
"Well, at least 90% of it."

Uh huh.
I came downstairs to see this:

Dwayne cleans

puts food away

sippy cups

90% eh?
He then later changed his answer to 87% after I called his ass out!

The sad part is that in his mind I think he truly believed that he had cleaned up.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

While digging through old college pictures yesterday I came across this one.
And damn, I'd love to have those 18 year old legs, tan, and hair again!
(ahhh, but don't we all?...)

I have come to believe that SEXY IS A STATE OF MIND.

Let me explain a little.
Looking at that picture now I think I look pretty hot!
At the time? I didn't see it. Was actually embarassed to take these pictures- my roommate convinced me to take some sexy shots in my bikini to send to my boyfriend.
Never believing, thinking, or saying I was hot.
If I ever got glances from guys it did make me feel good, but for the majority of my life I never felt pretty.

Fast forward a couple years later, I met this intriguing and unforgettable girl named Ivy. We became friends and later roommates. After a time, I realized she was not an ideal friend or roomate (that's another long story...). But just like with any kind of relationship- long or short, intimate or casual- you take something with you.
Ivy taught me how to be self confident.
She walked around and acted as if she were beautiful. Her self confidence exuded from every pore and you couldn't help but be drawn to her. In reality, she had an average body, was nice looking and mildly educated, but was no knock-out.
Her body language and speech made you believe she was the hottest babe you had ever laid eyes on!
After hanging out with her for awhile, her confidence began to rub off on me. She showed me that you don't have to be gorgeous to feel gorgeous.
It's the way you carry yourself, the way you walk into a room, the way you see yourself.
We'd walk into a bar as if we owned the place.
And people notice! Heads turn. You're a magnet. Free drinks. Invitations to cool places. Opportunities to turn many down.

It took me 20 years to look in the mirror and feel as if I looked good.
It's taken me 8 more years to realize this.
Many times I have to dig out the "Ivy" in me and remember it feels good to feel good about yourself.

Way Back Wednesday

I was "Breakin the Law, Breakin the Law..."
(sponsored by TKW)

I am such an angel that I have never done anything worse than this:
BudLight girl

See that Bud Light in my hand?
Uh huh.
I wasn't even twenty-one yet!
Terribly bad. I know.

you know I'm totally kidding right?
I'm just not posting all the bad things I may or may not have done in the past. And I certainly didn't capture any of them on film. *wink

So here's another photo of my criminal college past.

This was our dorm room cat, Whiskey.
Dorm room pets were a big No-No!
Ms. Carrie rescued the kitty and convinced us to keep him there. Whiskey was later adopted by Carrie's sister and renamed Miller.
(Carrie's front left and I'm over on the far right)
We were so bad!

This last crime scene picture is not so way-back.
drunk girls

Two years ago. Out for a night of fun downtown!
These girls are my wild friends. We like to drink, party, and make mischief of one kind or another...
I have never been kicked out of a bar before, excuse me, had never been kicked out of a bar before until this night.
Two in one night! yessssss!