That's me crying.
Man, I'm having a lousy day!
My sister and family just left today after a great 5 day visit. I'm sad. That's part of the problem.
Then there's the hormonal part. Aunt Flo's gonna be coming to town soon.
And then there's the biggest problem. Holden.
This kid is killing me! Physically and mentally.
He sucks at sleeping.
It takes about 30 minutes to actually get the kid to sleep, and then he's up 30-45 minutes later. VERY frustrating!
At night we're lucky if he sleeps 3 hours at a time.
He's usually overtired and cranky because he wants to go to sleep, but can't.
We've tried the cereal at night and on the good nights he'll sleep a 3 hour stretch.
It doesn't seem to matter where he sleeps, he won't STAY asleep.
He's a needy crabby guy and I'm mad at him.
I know that sounds awful and it's not his fault. Yes, logic tells me these things but I get so upset and frustrated with him. I feel like an incompetent mother.
Why can't you just go to sleep Holden? Why do I have to hold you and carry you all day long? Can you just please give me a break?!?
And when I do get a little break I dread going back and dealing with the crying baby who can't sleep.
He's not a very good nurser either. He likes to play tug-o-war with my nipples and he usually wins. Let me tell ya that it DOES NOT feel good!
I tried trading babies with my sister. She has a sweet little Hailey girl that can fall asleep by herself, and doesn't scream and cry for an hour, and sleeps, and is just a good natured baby.
My sister did not want to trade. They're driving back to California and she knows Holden screams in the car.
Darn it.
People told me "Oh, it will get better after 3 months."
I'm still waiting. He's 4 1/2 months old now.
Will it get better? Will I feel better? Can I be a better mom?
I really would like to enjoy being with my baby. And I DO love him. I do, I do, I do. But at the same time he makes me so mad. It's hard for me to just suck it up and do my job as a mom when all I want to do is escape.
this is my world
10 comments:
Hi from Wichita Falls TX. As a dad of 3, we went through the same problem with our first born. It will get better. Hang in there. Try letting the baby cry it self to sleep. We used to have to listen to ours cry for 1-2 hours at a time before he would be quiet. But you do what you feel you need to. Just hang in there and know that things will get better eventually.
I KNOW you're a great mom, I've seen you be a mom to an infant. All kids are going to have something they drive us nuts with at one time or another, and some are just more needy, it has nothing to do with you. I know logic doesn't help. Wish I was closer I could help out, but try to get yourself a break, and mabey invest in a sling if you don't have one, and give in to carrying him around alot. If you give him formula at all mabey try that at night? It worked for Tim, cereal just made him gassy. Plus it would give you a break.
I feel for you Jackie, remember that we had to go to the extreme for Bradley and finally drug him because the doctor said his sleep cylce was sooo messed up. It did work and we were able to get atleast four hours of rest at a time. Doesn't seem like a lot, but to us it was heaven. Do I recommend drugs, no not really, because I felt like I was hurting my baby, but after six months of no rest, I was willing to try just about anything. Call us if you need to, you know we will help in any way we can, but it doesn't do you much good at night. I know it seems really bad right now, well, because it is. Just know that you are a really great mom, and it is lack of sleep that is making you crazy--hang in there, you are doing a great job, even if you don't think you are.
I would be completely insane if I were in your situation!!!! I feel so bad for you. I can't function on anything less than 7 solid hours of sleep so I can imagine over time how worn out you would be! I'm ready to kick the cats out if they keep me up for one night let alone 4 and half months!! You are a great mom and I'm sure it will get better!!! Maybe you should get the doctor to give you something to help settle the nerves... maybe just get through this phase with a little help from xanax or clonzapan - then it will all seem funny! Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee
Get him a proper eating and sleeping schedule.....let him cry himself to sleep. It'll take a few days and nights....but he'll learn "how to fall asleep" on his own. And when he wakes up during the night he'll learn how to go back to sleep. During the day, let him lay on the floor or his chair and let him play instead of holding him.
Give it a try....it might just work.
I'm buying a box to send that book to you this week.
We weren't starting off from nearly the rough spot you are, but I have seen significant improvement in both my kids' sleep habits.
:)
We had that issue w/ DS #1. We finally went with the "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" method and it worked for us! We've also used several of the methods with great success from her toddler book too. I was waiting for Secrets...for the school aged child, but the author died last year so I guess I'm SOL. Good luck!!
Hey Jackie, don't fret it...you are a great mom and this too will pass. My second born was a nightmare, very needy (still is four years later but in a different way) but it has gotten better and my third born is much like your niece Hailey! Every baby is different and handles each situation different, I know you have tried numerous tricks that we have all suggested. You like the internet, look it up there and see what you can find! Hang in there!
Oh I am so sure you are a good mom but I know EXACTLY how you feel. I think even at 4.5 months my guy was doing just what yours is, crying because he is so tired and doesn't know how to fall asleep on his own, and getting overtired, and waking up after 30-45 minutes. It's that sleep cycle thing, where after 30 minutes or so they go through a transition and mine would wake up completely and cry to get up. I had to learn to let him cry for 15 minutes or so and then he'd go back to sleep for another 45 minutes. Eventually it stretched out to now he naps sometimes 2 hours and he sleeps perfectly all night. Hang in there!!!
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