Here's the requested story of the wedding that got called off/postponed 2 weeks before the date.
I'm trying to figure out where to start the story. It would take quite awhile to tell it all so I'll try and give it to you in a nutshell.
I was engaged to my love named Todd. I was 19 at the time and in college. Our love was very deep and INTENSE. We loved each other with every ounce of our hearts, minds, bodies, and souls. We couldn't stand to be away from each other and rarely ever were. (of course hindsight and a little growing up tells me this is called "codependency" and is unhealthy for a relationship, but we didn't realize that at the time)
We were engaged in the fall (you saw the ring) and everything was honky-dorey. Slowly as the year passed on, I became depressed. I had had a good friend pass away in the fall and didn't know how to deal with it, as well as some other inner issues with myself. Todd stood by me all the way. I received treatment with medication and therapy and began to heal. But somehow I had really dragged Todd down with me in the midst of my dark depression. So as I began to heal and realize that it was healthy for couples to be apart, he clung to me more. The more I tried to heal and have a life of my own outside him, the more he clung and resisited.
Round and round in circles we went. Our intense love, high emotions, and passion also brought on intense fighting and psychological undoings.
This was getting closer and closer to our wedding that we had been planning throughout the year. But we both thought things would get better. I mean we loved each other that's all that mattered right?
Well, along came June and two weeks to the wedding date. The invitations had long been sent out. The plans had been made and everything paid for: the church and pastor, the wedding dress, the reception hall, the cake, the dj, the flowers, the caterers, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, guest travel arrangements, etc.
But were we ready? We truly did want to get married, we loved and cared for each other deeply and longed to be together forever. But for as passonate and strong as our love was, so was our fighting. So when you are screaming and fighting at each other everyday and don't know how to deal with the changes in the evolving relationship, should you still get married? We decided the best choice was to postpone the wedding until we could get it together.
A very hard and heart wrenching decision to make, not to mention embarrassing too! Had to call all the guests and try and explain it. Not to mention all the wedding details/vendors to be cancelled and the $$ that was lost. And a whole lot of crying to be done.
And after that...
well let's just say I'm not married to him now. We never did reschedule the wedding because after months and years of being together and trying to piece back the realtionship the way it used to be, it just didn't happen.
So that would be the very short version of the story.
Now I'm happily married to my love, Dwayne. A much different kind of love- more stable and constant without the high degree of drama all the time.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
I suppose that every person we come into contact with and love molds who we become. If that is so, I'm glad you and Todd met and had your expereince because today you are a beautiful person that I am glad to have as a friend.
I miss you!!!
I'm glad you had the courage to call it off if you weren't ready despite the immediate consequences. You rock! -e
I too called off a wedding(3 months before and also lost a lot of money) . It was the best decision i ever made. The wedding dress is still in our attic.
Glad you had the courage to not do it, it takes a lot.
I remember Todd and the wedding that wasn't meant to be. I'm still very impressed by the fact that unlike so many people you didn't get married just so you didn't have to be emabarrased or just for the hell of it. That took a lot of courage. And look how it turned out - you found the man you were truly meant to be with and have two beautiful children and a wonderful marriage. :)
Thank you for sharing. I never realized...really realized how we all have these past loves. Mmmmm sweet passionate hot intense young love. I miss it, but I'm happy now. I'm glad you are too.
XOXO
C
And now a comment from J's mom.... I can attest to how intense their relationship was. I was proud to see that J & Todd had the guts to call off the wedding when they realized that it wasn't going to work. We supported them in their decision and let them know that the money was NOT an issue. Their health & well-being was much more important! We came to be with them anyway.
Prior to all that, I can also tell you how painful it was to be 900 miles away from J and hear how depressed she had become. She was feeling so low that I remember I was worried that she wouldn't make it through the night. I made her promise me to hold on until I could get there. Thank God that she did!!!
And to bring you up to date, I can vouch for what a wonderful person J is today. She has the most fantastic, loving, supportive, caring husband in the whole world. And the kids? Two of my favorite grandchildren!! I just wish we lived closer so that I could take them off her hands for a while.
J's Mom
Jackie, I too can attest to what you have said about "The First Wedding...." I too know in my "heart" that things do happen for a reason. You have an absolutely extrodinary husband and two beautiful children. These children by the way have EVERY right to misbehave and NOT sleep. Your "mother" and has prayed hours upon hours for this small piece of revenge ( called motherhood aka Payback.) At times you too will wish it upon your children's children, but will look back upon it with fondness and sadness as you see them grow up and move on....enjoy the growth and agony of it all ! ! ! ! !
Post a Comment