So if you don't want to hear my bitching and whining then change the channel now.
It has been a horrible day. It has been a horrible three weeks. All I hear everyday is crying. Crying crying crying. Whining whining whining. From both of the children. They are both sick with colds that they've had on and off for the last three weeks. They both wake up at the crack of dawn these days since the stupid time change. I am crabby tired and FED UP with them everyday. But on top of that I feel horrible for even feeling that way.
Somedays (most days) I feel like shaking them and screaming "SHUT UP AND LEAVE MOMMY ALONE!" And then I cry because I don't want to feel like that. It's my choice to stay home with them and what kind of mother am I if I can't stand to be around them?!?
Somedays Sophie refuses to take a nap and she NEEDS a nap. Around 4:30-5:00 it is Melt Down City for her. Constant crying and whining. Dwayne and I keep checking our watches and ask each other "How early is too early to put her too bed?"
We try and hold out til at least 7.
Holden's really been a nightmare. He screams. Screams screams screams if you dare put him down for 6 seconds. But Holden I have to brush my teeth and I can't do that or go poop, or put on my shoes, or get dressed, or make my sandwich while I'm holding you. Why can't you understand that and just stop screaming!?!!
I wish I could keep it together but after hearing his screaming and crying for so long it grates on my nerves and I start to hate him.
And then I hate myself for even thinking that.
Of course I love them both.
But when is it going to get better around here? When are my nice children coming back?!?
I feel stretched out and worn thin and I don't like the mother I am when I feel this way.
Do other people's children act this way?
I hate those mothers that portray motherhood as a piece of cake. The ones that say they have easy babies, the ones with babies that never had problems sleeping, never screamed and cried for hours on end, and the ones that say they would like to have four more! What planet do they come from?? I hate those mothers and they make me feel like an incompetent parent.
So you know what would make me feel better?
Tell me your awful children stories. Tell me how much your children scream, cry, whine, don't sleep, and sometimes you just want to bang your head against the wall.
That would make me feel a whole lot better.
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11 comments:
No kids, but sometimes I purposefully kick Leroy (cat) off the bed when he's biting my ass in the middle of the night because he wants treats - that hurts! :) Does that count? I will say my mom said when she had us sometimes she'd have to just put us in the play-pen and let us cry so she could get herself together. :)
Girl, call in a babysitter and take some time for yourself. Who wouldn't be insane after dealing with that? For the love of God, I can't take off work, but drive your butt down here and drop the kids off with me. I'm watching Ryan and Reese this weekend - what's two more? :) You and my sis can go pamper yourselves and rant away. :)
Hang in there. You are not a bad mother, if anything I think you have just proved that you are as human as the rest of the planet. :)
I am right there with you! Ryan and Reese always seem to be hungry at the very exact same second and I can't feed them both at the same time so then they both start crying and I wait for myself to just start screaming with them and then run out of the house...;) That would be the easy way out though, now wouldn't it? :) Then that would suck because I would be one of those moms who you see on the 5:00 news- saying I just couldn't take it anymore!!! But sometimes I do feel like that!
I want to be at home with mine too because I didn't go through all the trouble of having them to let someone else raise them... BUT some days I am very jealous of my friends who have jobs because essentially its a way to get a BREAK :) A MUCH NEEDED break everyday:) It makes me snicker to myself when they call and complain because they were with the kids all WEEKEND- well welcome to my world!
Do not feel bad- I think that everyone feels that way on some days and the ones who won't/don't admit it are just lying. PERIOD :)
And you touched on people having 3 and 4 kids- SHIT NO. Two is QUITE enough for me if I ever want to have any life or body for that matter :) Hang in there and always feel free to email me- I am going through the exact same crap :) When I get to take a shower these days I consider myself lucky!
We all have days like that, even the moms who won't admit it. Don't feel bad about feeling that way, even though I know it's a waste to tell you that.
Hugs to you, Mommy. It's the hardest damn job in the world, sister. Take a quick break at Target when the man gets home from work. Or just go outside and let them scream for five minutes; I've done that before.
OMG can I relate!
I was a brand new mother.......my angelic child had colic and I didn't know what that meant or what I was doing wrong. I also had a touch of post partum. She would scream non-stop between 7pm and 6am. There came a point when I had to put her in the bouncy seat out in the den and close the door.....just walk away before I lost my mind. I finally got help from my mother.
Flash to 2yrs-5yrs. Child would not take a nap....ever. She would melt down in the evenings. Running behind me whinning and crying. I would be so exhausted I wanted to lay down and die. Sometimes I would lock myself in the bathroom for just a few minutes(I made sure she was safe and couldn't hurt herself while I was in there)...just enough time to get myself together and go again.
Now she's 11. An absolute joy. I got to be a SAHM and I am so proud.
You have much to be proud of. Being a mother is the hardest job I've ever done. It's not the easy comes natural song and dance other's like to feed you. It's clear you adore your children.....but you aren't super human either. Sometimes you have to give yourself a break.
I agree with Carrie's sister....working mom's get a break whether they realize it or not. I've done both.....and for me it was much easier to work, but I too couldn't stand the idea of someone else taking care of my baby. I'm super glad I made the choice to stay home and wouldn't change a thing. My daughter and I are super close and I cherish every moment (even the ones when I wanted to pull my hair out).
For 10 years....I've had 3. My daughter and two step-sons. The challenges have been many, but what an accomplishment.
That's what I see in you.
A HUGE accomplishment!!!
So hold your head high and know there's a million other SAHM's that feel your frustration and pain. We hear you and WE UNDERSTAND!
I agree with all your commenters that you seem to be a fabulous mom.
I dont have kids yet but I am surrounded by them constantly. I see the moms that stay home and the moms that work. It is a super hard job all around and you are right you are with them all the time. But as much as they drive you crazy you can tell that you love them beyond imaginable.
Its ok to be angry and upset when they are having a bitchfest at your feet. Hang in there and just remember every momma goes through this. And the ones that dont are LYING!
I hope those babies get back to being the sweet little ones that make their momma smile. I am sure they will but we all have our days!
You are not alone hon! Those that pretend everything is perfect in Mommydom are simply in denial!
My four (ages 19 mos to 13) and I just all had the flu together....crying, whining, bitching, puking....you can imagine it and DH had to work, all after a long night at the hospital for a soccer injury. I wanted to punch out my time card and take a leave of absence but it's not an option. My Mom always tells me..."And this too shall pass" and it does. I'll have the rest of my life to have peace and quiet, a clean house and sanity....I'm going to long for the chaos when they are gone some day! HUGS to you, take a break if you can for just some "me" time!
You are not a bad mother. You are normal and you are not alone. We have serious sleeping issues at my house and I dread nighttime because I know what is coming.
Horror stories? Hm let's see. My 2yr old who will ONLY nap when I lock him in his room and leave him in there with a couple toys for an hour. (yes he will cry, and cry, and cry...and I do go in occasionally to put him back into bed)
My 5yr old who told his teacher on Wed " no I didn't bite him I just hurt him" and No I DON'T THINK SO when she physically had to walk him to the time out chair and sit with him to keep him there.
Both kids fighting every 5 minutes over a toy neither one really cares about?
Or how about the 2 week ear infection that went away for 3 days and then came back for another day.
Hmm The fact I will no longer bring my children to the store I work at since they had a meltdown infront of the entire sales floor staff at their meeting, and the store manager?
The 2yr old out manipulating the 5 yr old, and ending up "making" him end up in time out while the 2yr old is left with BOTH toys, and the 5yr old STILL has not caught on to this.
This is all in the past week. No I don't always like my children, and there are days I wonder why in the hell did I want them, and WHY was I thinking of having a third for a while. But in the end, just walk away from them when you need. It won't hurt them and they will learn, and go out when DH get's home for a while. Try to look at them when they're sleeping to remember the cute child is still in there, or when they are doing cute, although strange things like sweeping the cusions of the couch. Which #2 is busy doing so I can write this ;-)
Peaks and Valleys. Remember that. You are a cool ass chick. Hang in there.
I don't have kids, but I worked at a preschool. Um, yeah, there are kids out there that are really, really scary. I had one kid start a revolt in the classroom. Kids were jumping off tables and hitting and SCREAMING and running. I thought, "This can't really be happening." I just had to laugh for a minute. The mother of the revolter told me he just had really bad allergies :)
I think yours sound like normal kids that can be really aggrivating sometimes. There is no such thing as a perfectly behaved child. And I would think you were weird if you DIDN'T go crazy from time to time!
Dude, my kids are always quiet and well-behaved...
...WHEN I DRUG THEM!!!!
Hope this week got better...I'm just catching up on your latest.
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