Monday, April 03, 2006

For the last few weekends we’ve been doing a major Spring Cleaning of the yard.
We have a big yard.
Lots of weeding, pruning, edging, trimming, hauling, …yet due to my ocd organizational nature, I like EVERYTHING neat and tidy. Perfection Organization takes time and everyday I spend long hours working outside. But I still keep finding more and more work that needs to be done.
I like it though. I get a great sense of accomplishment as I look back and see how much nicer it looks. It feels good to work hard and dig my hands through the dirt. With gloves on.

So everyone knows to really rid yourself of a weed you must pull it out by the roots.
I spied a nice thorny weed in one of the garden beds and decided to attack it this afternoon while the kids went down for their nap. I figured I could easily pull this baby out. I started to dig. And pull. Dig. Pull. No luck.
I dug some more. And more. And tried pulling. This mother was not budging. Soon sweat was pouring off my forehead and I came to realize that this weed was the spawn of the Devil. Clearly the roots must shoot all the way down to hell! And it seemed there was no way I was going to reach the bottom to pull it out. Due to my perseverance and earthly duty to rid the world of the thorny Devil Weed, I didn’t give up.
What started out as a simple task of removing a thorny weed from our garden, ended up being a complete 40 minute workout. Who needs cardio when you have a Devil Weed to kill? I began to take it personally that it kept resisting. It made me work harder and after an extended period of battling and cursing, I finally, FINALLY won!
I shouted “I WON MOTHER F*CKER!!!”

Seriously.


Please take a look:

That's not a tree limb, It's Devil Root
That's not a tree limb. It's only part of the root to hell.


And here's just a fragment of mammoth Devil Weed's core.
Devil Root

22 comments:

Marisa said...

We don't have weeds in our igloos. ;-)

Cara said...

Sweet baby Jesus that's a big ass weed! I spent my whole weekend pulling weeds, mowing, edging, trimming, etc. too. I even managed to not get a sunburn (which is a huge accomplishment for me)!

Tammy said...

Good God, that's a giant weed. I have a ton of weeds in my front yard. We put out weed & feed, but I think we misread the bag. I think it was Feed the Weed. They will NOT go away.

But, now that I have more time on my hands, I can get to them.

Me said...

You have just reminded me of yet one more reason I'm glad I don't live in our previous home.... the owners before us hired a professor at a State College to design and plan the landscaping. They spent $25,000 to do it all.....

when we moved in they gave us copies of the landscaping plan, in both Latin and English - in TRIPLICATE.

.... and I am sooo not a 'yard' person. I don't enjoy it, don't do it and don't care. So we left everything alone for the first 1 1/2 years we lived there. Did not touch anything in the entire 1/2 acre of yard.

The next year I paid. I pulled out weeds much like the one you showed. We also had weeds that were (I kid you not) 14 FEET high, growing inbetween some of the bushes and trees.

ACK!

Memories....... bad ones. Next post please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spikey1 said...

First ants.. then weeds.. next?

Jen said...

I canNOT believe that!!
I bet you felt such a sense of accomplishment after pulling out that sucker!

Rhonda said...

That is the biggest fucking weed I have ever seen. Good job.

Kami said...

HOLY SHIT!!!

I think that's a tree root!

Lori said...

Good job, that is one huge weed.

Ug, which reminds me ....

Anonymous said...

Holy shit! Go you!! I wish we had a yard to work in... I like that kind of thing a lot. Someday....

Unknown said...

Holy Moley! I love it when you get all worked up and determined to accomplish the task. Good for you not giving up!

Anonymous said...

Ok--when you said it was a big weed I thought ok a weed. Man that is Mammoth. It makes me just want to keep the weeds in my yard out of fear of what the root system will look like. Yikes!

Michelle said...

Damn! You got skillz, wanna come pull mine?

Oh and up here we call those trees

Kat said...

My dear, I think you mistakenly dug up a tree (good Lord that's a big ass weed! :) Speaking of trees... during this 'Spring Cleaning', did the Christmas tree finally get the boot? :)

Unknown said...

You made it! Looks like it's out!

Anonymous said...

Whoa! That was a mega-weed! You must have dug down several feet to get that thing out! I hope it wasn't the kind that sends out runners that sprout up new weeds!

Melanie said...

OMG. That is the craziest thing I've ever seen. Good for you to kick that things ass!

Unknown said...

That's a very, very nice weed, honey.

Hope said...

Damn! I need one of you at my house.

Sheri & SuZan said...

I need you at my house!

Memphis said...

That is one huge weed.

And you TOTALLY KICKED ITS' ASS!!

David Lim said...

Reminds me of the time I tried to remove a "small" ivy vine that had planted itself in our garden. Took me over an hour, and at the end I was sweating and cursing like a sailor in the boiler room of the Queen Mary. But I too let out a primal scream when I at last succceeded. Congrats on your victory!