The Five Hundred Dollar Tooth

This is the $500 tooth Dwayne has had in his mouth for the last year and a half.


About 8 years ago I met Dwayne in a bar. He and I had both had a few drinks too many. Dwayne was being a real booger and kept trying to cop a feel and pinch my butt. Normally I would have just flitted him off and kept on walking.
But for some reason he intrigued me and I stuck around. After 20 minutes or so of the ass grabbing I decided I had really had enough! I wanted to let him know in a joking way so I was going to punch him in the chest and say something like "Knock it off buddy!"
But as I went to punch him I missed... and socked him right in the mouth!
He looked so shocked as his mouth started bleeding. I began apologizing profusely and that's when he realized his front tooth was loose.
He didn't speak to me again the rest of the night. Nor did he grab my ass anymore.
After an expensive dentist visit he had to have his front tooth removed and later capped with a fake one.

Just kidding.
Did I get ya?

He really lost his tooth about 23 years ago playing soccer as he was diving for the ball and smacked into the goalpost after bouncing off another player.
Or so the story goes.

Fast forward to a year and a half ago.
The tooth post where the fake tooth was screwed into his gum was starting to decay. He had to have it removed and lucky guy got to wear this fakey until the whole process of replacing the post was completed.
Every night as soon as Dwayne would come home from work the tooth came out and I was graced by his beautiful smile minus the front tooth.


His fakey was horribly uncomfortable, hard to eat with because food would always get stuck underneath, and it made his lips chapped all the time.

So he was elated last week when he finally got his real fake tooth! It's screwed in there for good and he doesn't have to wear the fabulous five hundred dollar tooth anymore!