While digging through old college pictures yesterday I came across this one.
And damn, I'd love to have those 18 year old legs, tan, and hair again!
(ahhh, but don't we all?...)


I have come to believe that SEXY IS A STATE OF MIND.

Let me explain a little.
Looking at that picture now I think I look pretty hot!
At the time? I didn't see it. Was actually embarassed to take these pictures- my roommate convinced me to take some sexy shots in my bikini to send to my boyfriend.
Never believing, thinking, or saying I was hot.
If I ever got glances from guys it did make me feel good, but for the majority of my life I never felt pretty.

Fast forward a couple years later, I met this intriguing and unforgettable girl named Ivy. We became friends and later roommates. After a time, I realized she was not an ideal friend or roomate (that's another long story...). But just like with any kind of relationship- long or short, intimate or casual- you take something with you.
Ivy taught me how to be self confident.
She walked around and acted as if she were beautiful. Her self confidence exuded from every pore and you couldn't help but be drawn to her. In reality, she had an average body, was nice looking and mildly educated, but was no knock-out.
Her body language and speech made you believe she was the hottest babe you had ever laid eyes on!
After hanging out with her for awhile, her confidence began to rub off on me. She showed me that you don't have to be gorgeous to feel gorgeous.
It's the way you carry yourself, the way you walk into a room, the way you see yourself.
We'd walk into a bar as if we owned the place.
And people notice! Heads turn. You're a magnet. Free drinks. Invitations to cool places. Opportunities to turn many down.

It took me 20 years to look in the mirror and feel as if I looked good.
It's taken me 8 more years to realize this.
Many times I have to dig out the "Ivy" in me and remember it feels good to feel good about yourself.