Just fair warning here, the following post may be TMI for some family members. But screw it, this is me.

You have been a part of our lives for way too long. We don't like you.
Auf Wiedersehen!
We won't be missing you.



No more breastfeeding means NO MORE CONDOMS!
I just don't think married people should have to use these things. It's against the rules.

I have been waiting for this day for along time.
Say hello to my new little friends.



These friends mean shorter visits from Aunt Flo, and I can control when she comes.
I mean I do not want her around on my vacation to Mexico.
Based on the dates of our trip to Mexico, I have carefully counted out pills and days in my cycle, calculating exactly when my monthly visitor will arrive and adjusting the start day of my pills accordingly.
(Here's the part where family can stop reading.)
These pills also mean extra pleasure for both of us! You know what I mean. Bare skin. No more stopping to put one on right as you're getting into it.
Ok, I'll just stop there before I really start giving you TMI.