Little known facts about the Lums

Fact #1:
Did you know that the Lummin's (the Lum children) inherited beautiful lips from the Lum family gene pool?

Exhibit A: Lum Dad

Look at these lips!
Are those not the most sweetest looking lips you've ever seen?

But they get better...

Exibit B: The First Lummin


That set definitely comes from her Dad!


Exhibit C: The Last Lummin


So far,
Lum lips: 2
Winkler lips: 0
(Not that the Lummin's don't posess other wonderful qualities from my side of the DNA chain.)

Fact #2
I own 51 pair of shoes.
Now aside from the $98 pair of shoes I recently acquired, most of my shoes come from TJ Maxx, Ross, Target, etc, etc. No top dollar designer labels in my closet.
9 out of 10 days I'm wearing the same old flip flops.

Fact #3
Holden Lum is really a monkey and can eat a whole banana in less than 2 minutes.

Fact #4
At 38 years old, Dwayne still holds a professional hockey contract.
He also owns 34 pairs of shoes.

Fact #5
Dwayne really married me so he could get his Green Card.
And because he likes my booty.

Take a walk with me

Spring has Sprung and it's only February 13!



On our walk through the neighborhood today I brought my baby along, my camera.
I took lots and lots of pictures of course. Can you tell I love taking pictures? In case you couldn't tell, I really love taking pictures!


Our house is the one the left and the other is the new one being built.

My new camera is my obsession. All the things I had wanted to try with my camera before weren't very easy to do; and the ways I could manipulate a picture were very limited. With my Nik I have so much more control of my pictures.
I am slowly learning how to do exactly what I want my picture to do~what I want it to say, if you will. When I look through my veiwfinder I try and ask myself: What am I trying to convey or acheive out of this picture? What do I want people to see and feel when they look at this?



On our walk today I saw these bursts of color blossoming amidst the backdrop of the deep blue sky and the contrasting dead brown colors of winter.
Beautiful blue skies: Reason #43 Why I heart Austin, TX.



So I take a butt load of pictures everyday and honestly probably half of them are crap. I take the same picture over and over but change something slightly each time (exposure, white balance, focus, etc). This is how I learn to take better pictures though. So when I go back and scroll through my pictures of the day, I pick up one more piece of information I can take with me and use next time.

Just fair warning here, the following post may be TMI for some family members. But screw it, this is me.

You have been a part of our lives for way too long. We don't like you.
Auf Wiedersehen!
We won't be missing you.



No more breastfeeding means NO MORE CONDOMS!
I just don't think married people should have to use these things. It's against the rules.

I have been waiting for this day for along time.
Say hello to my new little friends.



These friends mean shorter visits from Aunt Flo, and I can control when she comes.
I mean I do not want her around on my vacation to Mexico.
Based on the dates of our trip to Mexico, I have carefully counted out pills and days in my cycle, calculating exactly when my monthly visitor will arrive and adjusting the start day of my pills accordingly.
(Here's the part where family can stop reading.)
These pills also mean extra pleasure for both of us! You know what I mean. Bare skin. No more stopping to put one on right as you're getting into it.
Ok, I'll just stop there before I really start giving you TMI.

Randomness

Poll results:
On my poll asking how often do you enjoy alcoholic beverages, I discovered that the majority of voters drink a one/few a week, and next popular was an everyday drink.
Whew! Glad I'm not the only one.
And results from the latest poll inquiring how important sex is in a relationship quite surprised me. "10" was the top answer, with "8" coming in at a close second.
Horn dogs.

My conclusions: we like to drink and screw.
NEW POLL TO YOUR RIGHT!---->


So tonight as I'm shaking out the laundry to put in the dryer, I kept hearing this little "ping, ping" sound coming from the clothes. Like something tiny was falling out of each of them.
Hmmmm, what could that be...
I found the little treasures inside Holden's jacket pocket. Dirt and bark. Silly little boy had filled his pockets at the playground.
I thought,
Oh, he is such a boy! I'm sure this is just the first of many surprises to come doing his laundry.
I just hope it's not gonna be a crayon someday.


I have officially weaned Holden from the boob! After his whole fungus in the mouth ailment (thrush) I decided now would be a GREAT time to wean.
I mean would you really want a yeast infection on your nipples???
Precisely.
My only concern now is that he's not taking the so called required amount of formula per day.
Any thoughts here? He's 11 months old now. Should I keep trying and try not to worry about it? Consider giving him some whole milk to try?
I can't wait to go buy some real bras from Victorias Secret.
You know a gift card for Valentine's Day would be marvelous! (hint hint Dwayne)


The Bud and Sissy baby update:
The baby girl they had at 31 weeks has a very rare condition which causes fluid to build up in her lungs and around her brain. The concern is not that she's premature, but that she is very sick.
Breaks. my. heart.
She has made baby steps of progress in the last day however. I have faith that she will get better and come home to their loving arms one day soon.
I am saving some cake from Bud and Sissy's baby shower that I put in the freezer for a good luck token. I told Sissy I would bring her the best cake in Austin when they bring their baby girl home.


I leave you with a few pictures of the darling Lummin's (my new term for the Lum youngins) taking their bath.









If you think it looks like Sophie is molesting her brother in that last pic, you are only halfway correct.
See, Sophie likes to wash Holden. She had already washed his arms, his tummy, his back, his hair, and then proclaimed it was "time to wash his penis".
Dwayne and I looked at each other and busted up. I then got my camera in position.
And she washed it for him. He had to fondle it himself right after as well.
Nothing like childhood where you can do that stuff right out in the open.

$$$

Well, I'm back from my weekly trip to the Land of the Great Big Red Bulls Eye.
I am officially over the "Target Rut" I had been in for many weeks.
The last two weeks I have been BACK on TRACK! Filling up my cart with all the essentials and then some. A lot of then somes... the wonderful clearance and sale items that are just too cute to pass up. You know you do it too!
Yet everytime I get to the checkout counter and the salesperson tells me my total, I am in awe at how much I spent! How can that be, when I used my $7 worth of coupons and everything I bought was under $20??
What I've come to realize is that even though all those wonderful items are on sale, when you pile 20+ items that cost 1.99-3.99 each in the cart, you still end up with a big bill!
I admit I did overdo it a bit this week though. Came back with $30 worth of chocolate!! Choxie baby! Not all for me however. That big heart of a holiday is just around the corner and I had a few valentines to buy for.


Oh, oh, oh!
Wait till you see my new purse I got today as well! (But this baby did not come from Target.)


And here's her rear


Isn't she pretty??!!

Ch-ch-ch-Changes!

Finally, I got a new template here.
It's not my favorite, but I like the colors. I'm still searching for THE perfect template for me!
Expect more changes in the near future...

Gone But Not Forgotten

(Way Back Wednesday sponsored by The Kept Woman)

The three deaths of loved ones that have made the most impact on me,
My dear friend Cynthia,
My grandpa Big George,
My crazy grandma Rita.


Cynthia and I, having a beer together circa 1995.
That was the last time I saw her alive.


She and I were great friends in high school. She was such a free spirit who lived by her own rules. I loved her. She was someone I have always wanted to be like. One that takes life in easy strides and lives it to the fullest!
Some great, crazy times we had together...
She died at the age of 18, drowned one night after jumping in the river for some late night fun with friends.
I was away at college and she was still back in St.Louis.
I got the dreadful call from her mother.
I didn't really know how to deal with the death of someone so close to me, someone so young who died an unexpected death.
I kept picturing her death over and over in my mind, and envisioning her last moments. I tried to imagine how she must have felt drowning... what did she feel when she realized she was going to die? was she scared? helpless? at peace? I'll always remember Todd telling me drowning was a peaceful way to go.
Many months after the funeral I still had not truly "greived" her death and became very depressed. It was a long time later I finally let go of her (if you know what I mean). It was then I stopped dreaming that her death was all just a big hoax.



This is my BG.


Big George we called him. He's George's dad.
We moved into his house after my grandmother died. We lived together as a family for 8 or so years. I have piles and piles of good memories from all the holidays, birthdays, vacations, laughs, arguements, and conversations we spent together.
He slipped and fell on his birthday one year. He went into the hospital and it was downhill after that. He had Alzeimers and a number of other physical ailments from smoking cigarettes for so many decades. It broke my heart to see him in his last days so small and weak lying in bed stripped of everything he stood for.
I remember BG as a very dignified, generous, hard working, put-together man who believed in good manners and acting proper.


Crazy red-headed Rita, my grandma on my mom's side.


She was a hoot!!
Some of my favorites...
Telling me, "Honey, you should stuff your bra with some oranges!"

"Love 'em and leave 'em honey. Love 'em and leave 'em."

"I haven't shook my ass like this in 30 years!!" at my sister's wedding.
She insisted she couldn't walk anywhere without her walker, but when the music started at the wedding she got up and had no problems bustin a move!

Of course she was also on the somewhat delusional side at times and would coin certain people as evil; sometimes she thought my mom, or my sister, or aunt were pregnant and was angry and upset with us because she thought we were hiding it from her.; and how the nurses at The Home were always stealing from her and that she "would kick their asses."
Oh she was a funny one alright!

The only thing these kids share around here is their germs!

One week it's a cold, then an ear infection, next was major diarrhea for days, now thrush from the antibiotics. The other one now has a fever and chills and new teeth coming in.

It goes from one set of funky germs to the next around here.

Our pediatrician is hopefully making a killing.
If she gets as many visits from other babes as she does the Lum offspring, she should be rollin in the dough.

Please send lots of tissue and a plastic bubble for all of us to live in.

The shower that wasn't

We were having a baby shower for our friends this Sunday. Let's call them Bud and Sissy because I don't know if they want their names published on the internet and well, I just love those names! You know, from Urban Cowboy.
So this was a shower for their second baby, a girl this time. An absolutely lovely afternoon shower was planned with yummy snacks, the best cake in Austin (Lucy's), lots of booze, and good friends.
We got a call that morning. Sissy was at the hospital in labor!
Her baby was not due for another 2 months. They were trying to stop her labor.
So we waited to see what would happen.
Unfortunately they did have to have the baby via C-section because Sissy's placenta detached. The fragile little girl was born with fluid in her lungs and around her head; the doctors told Bud & Sissy to be prepared that their baby might not make it.
My heart dropped when they told us that. I began to cry just imagining what that must feel like. The feeling that your baby may only live for a few hours. The feeling of not knowing. I think the worst must be the feeling of complete helplessness. There is not a damn thing you can do except sit and wait. That is the hardest thing.
I felt unsure of what the right thing to say is in this situation besides how sorry we are.
To try and make light of things, I told them we were going to eat their cake without them, but I'd save a big piece of it for them when they're ready. And BEER! Oh yes, I'll bring some beer for you too. So Bud laughed and said "thank you Jackie."
If only we could do something else for them.

We had a baby shower planned, so we decided to carry on with the party anyway minus the guests of honor.
Aside from the somberness in our hearts, we had quite an enjoyable time!
How can you have a bad time with beer, the best cake in Austin, and spinach-artichoke yummy munchies??
Exactly.
(Click here for a slideshow of pics from the party.)

And there's been no news since. The baby is hanging in there for now and I just hope hope hope for them that everything turns out well.
I have baby gifts, cake, and beer for Bud and Sissy when they are ready.

Gotcha!

Toni

Silly scaredy cat.
If she even sees me go towards my camera bag she tucks her tail between her legs and is off to hide under the bed for at least an hour!
Ah ha! she couldn't see me through the door.
('Course I'm not sure you can see much through that door looking at all the doggy and baby slobber.)

The Ghost of Christmas Past

What's this?


This my friends, is our dead Christmas tree still laying on the side of our house.
Let's refresh our memories here...
Christmas Was Dec. 25. It is now February 2.
Dwayne said he would put it out with the trash next week. That was 4 weeks ago.

We'll probably end up throwing it in the woods.
Right next to the one from last year.

The human vacuum

"Holden, are you eating rocks?"


And his face says it all,
"Who me?"

Way Back Wednesday

Money, money, money is the theme this week. (TKW)

Do you see the money in this picture?
I'll let you decide who is "money."

In my eyes, it was Dwayne.
This picture was taken back when we were dating.
Back when I was just a college student who had never met Money, until Dwayne.
Dwayne, who had a job with a nice salary, drove two different Porshes and a Land Rover, who never shopped for bargains at Target, bought my gorgeous dress to accompany him to a wedding.
I love this picture...
It reminds me of the time in our relationship where we still got butterflies in our tummies seeing each other...we were still playing the "game" of courting...it was summer and we were really tan...he had blonde hair and a six pack...I was being myself of course, drinking, dancing, being silly that night...we were so hot for each other that we made out the whole cab ride back to his place...
**Dwayne just reminded me that he caught the garter at the wedding that night. Heading for the bar he notices the garter heading his way and nonchalantly puts up his hand to catch it.
***Oh yeah. And we had some sizzlin hot sex that night!

Here is Big Baby.
(No, not Sophie, although sometimes...)



Who had to have her own pumpkin for Halloween.
Who had to have her own Christmas stocking.
Who likes to have her own snacks.

I bet we'll have to pay for her to go to college too.

In hopes of quenching my anxieties that I am becoming an alcoholic because I like to drink a beer each night, I am conducting a poll inquiring as to how much you like to drink.
Please take note of the poll to your right and vote!
(Your answers are anonymous of course so no need to fear that we will all find out you are a LUSH!)
Ok, I'm off for a Heiny...

update on poop and other various ailments

It's been quite a weekend.
Holden: sick; shitting his pants by the hour; literally have to pry his mouth open with your fingers to give him his medicine now; middle of night awakenings and refusal to go back to sleep.
Sophie: sick; fever, tummy ache, crabby, whiney, obstinate
Daddy: sick; fever, chills, body aches, tummy aches, can't move
Mommy: TIRED! no sleep, no breaks, feels gross, overworked, and underpaid for this job

A slice of freedom

After two days of being held captive in the house with Holden and Sophie, anyone could lose their mind.
Thursday we had to rush to the doctor's office to be there for a squeezed-in 8:50 appointment, only to sit and wait for 40 minutes in the lobby. Turns out Holden's fever and lack of sleep for the last few nights was due to an ear infection. Trekking to the pharmacy and waiting another 45 minutes for the antibiotics was yet another barrel of laughs and fun with the kids in tow.
I was warned that these antibiotics can cause diarrhea. BOY, they were not kidding! I believe I had to change Holden's pants at least 12 times yesterday, myself three times, and had to do laundry twice as we ran out of clean pants for the kid.
I was also warned that the medicine was a bit foul tasting, so I opted for the additional flavoring hoping we might convince Holden to take the medicine.
Nope. No way. He was not fooled.
After three different times of him throwing the medicine back up at us, we have finally devised a plan that seems to get most of the medicine down his throat in one sitting. Mind you, it takes twenty minutes for the whole process to be completed.
You lay on the floor with him and get him to a) laugh or b) cry; then you quickly shove the syringe down the back of his throat and squirt just a little bit while blowing in his face at the same time so his natural reaction is to suck in and swallow. You cannot squirt too much at once though because it will all just run out the side of his mouth and down his neck. Repeat the process many times until all medicine is gone.
You must have a minimum of three paper towels at hand and lots of patience.
However, Holden is catching on to the plan and clamps his lips shut using his tongue as a barricade as soon as he sees that medicine syringe coming.

And we are supposed to endure ten days of this.

For fear of being drenched in liquid poop, we haven't left the house the last two days.
Needless to say I've a bit of cabin fever and was seriously desperate to flee the house.
When Dwayne got home from work yesterday I got to take a shower. A shower. What a luxury!
My friend Lauren and I were going to go out for some food and drinks. So I got dressed, did my hair and makeup, and put on my fabulous new shoes.
I didn't care where we were going, we could have been going to Walmart, but dammit- I was going to wear my new shoes!
When I came downstairs feeling like REAL person and looking all sexy, Sophie looks at me and asks "Where are you going?"
"I'm going out with Lauren."
"But where are you and Lauren going? I want to come!"
"We're going out drinking Sophie. You can't come with us."
"But I want to come... I can bring my milk and drink it!"
Poor girl just didn't get it.

Getting to that slice of freedom...
We headed out to a few restaurant/bars and had a good time. Relaxing. Good food.
I didn't care that when we were at a low-key Mexican restaurant where everyone was in jeans and t-shirts and you had to use paper towels for toilet paper, that I was a tad over-dressed in my sparkly shirt and sparkly three inch heels. I didn't care. I looked good and I was out of the house!

Returning home a few hours later with a nice buzz, we joined Dwayne in one last drink and smoke outside.
Me, being obsessed with my new BAMF shoes, was gloating about how sexy I looked and that Dwayne should take me out somewhere nice so I could wear them again...
"Dwayne, you'll probably have some nice functions to go to at your new job. Will you take me so I can wear my new..."
OOPS! When I went to touch his arm, somehow I knocked the glass of wine right out of his hands and it crashed to the ground.
"...shoes?"
Perfect timing for that question.
I'm sure he'll want to take graceful Jackie out to one of his company functions. But only if I'll make a scene in my new shoes and promise to break at least one glass.

I reclaim my breasts in one month!

(Sorry for not having pictures to go along with this post)

In a month I will be collecting all my nursing bras and burning them. Oh wait, I can't burn them because of the burning ban right now....hmmmmm...maybe I can fit them through the shredder!

It's not that I have minded breastfeeding. It's just that I want my body back after three years of sacrificing my womb and breasts for my beautiful children.
And let's hit that subject for a moment shall we?
My breasts...
I have always had really small boobs.
Fine. They are what they are.
I've always been somewhat anti-boob job for myself. I didn't mind my small boobs because they were nice and perky.
But alas, after bearing two children and breasts changing from a size A, to B, to D!!, down to C, and finally back to B (and two times through this sequence), they are just not what they used to be.
Boob job? Not feeling so anti about it now.

Not only will my breasts be MINE again, so will my whole body.
Do you realize what this means?!??
It means I'm free to take medicine without having to call the doctor or consult my lactation book, it means I can drink alcohol freely without the bothersome side effect of getting my child drunk, it means I can eat chocolate all day if I want and not worry about providing the right nutrition for my child, it means I can buy push'em up pad'em up bras from Victorias Secret again!

A big nasty two and a half year old tantrum

Over????
She had to stop jumping on our bed.

I confess

I am a complete blogging idiot.
It took me a good two months to figure out how to put a link in a post.
And now the biggest "Duh!" moment has come...
It has been a year and I JUST NOW realized there's this "compose" tab where you can write your post, change font colors, use bold type, change picture sizes, make bullets, etc.
I was so excited to find this!
And then I realized what a complete idiot I have been that it has taken me this long.
A year people.

I used to think that all you other bloggers were living in some fancy computer world where you knew how to post pictures, links, and even change your font color all by yourselves...that there was this secret code that only really intelligent computer people knew.
Ha! Not anymore.
The secret is out folks.
I can now change font colors and picture sizes like the rest of you geniuses!

The Five Hundred Dollar Tooth

This is the $500 tooth Dwayne has had in his mouth for the last year and a half.


About 8 years ago I met Dwayne in a bar. He and I had both had a few drinks too many. Dwayne was being a real booger and kept trying to cop a feel and pinch my butt. Normally I would have just flitted him off and kept on walking.
But for some reason he intrigued me and I stuck around. After 20 minutes or so of the ass grabbing I decided I had really had enough! I wanted to let him know in a joking way so I was going to punch him in the chest and say something like "Knock it off buddy!"
But as I went to punch him I missed... and socked him right in the mouth!
He looked so shocked as his mouth started bleeding. I began apologizing profusely and that's when he realized his front tooth was loose.
He didn't speak to me again the rest of the night. Nor did he grab my ass anymore.
After an expensive dentist visit he had to have his front tooth removed and later capped with a fake one.

Just kidding.
Did I get ya?

He really lost his tooth about 23 years ago playing soccer as he was diving for the ball and smacked into the goalpost after bouncing off another player.
Or so the story goes.

Fast forward to a year and a half ago.
The tooth post where the fake tooth was screwed into his gum was starting to decay. He had to have it removed and lucky guy got to wear this fakey until the whole process of replacing the post was completed.
Every night as soon as Dwayne would come home from work the tooth came out and I was graced by his beautiful smile minus the front tooth.


His fakey was horribly uncomfortable, hard to eat with because food would always get stuck underneath, and it made his lips chapped all the time.

So he was elated last week when he finally got his real fake tooth! It's screwed in there for good and he doesn't have to wear the fabulous five hundred dollar tooth anymore!

I did a bad bad thing

This is sooooo not like me.

Friday night I met a girlfriend at the mall. They have this great spa where we decided to treat ourselves with a nice pedicure.
But not just any pedicure. We got the big daddy of a pedicures. The works with the sea salt scrub and tea tree oil masque. $55 for the whole deal. But felt ohhhh so good!

With gorgeous red toenails and some smooth feet, I accompanied my friend to the shoe store to help her pick out a pair of boots. Feeling like a queen with my new bad ass toes, I stumbled upon the most beautiful pair of shoes I had ever seen.
I tried them on giddy like a addict scoring some crack. They were fabulous and I HAD to have them!!
Then I turned the shoe over and gasped at the $98 price tag.
I have never. Never. Spent that much money on a pair of shoes.
I pride myself on being a thrifty shopper who clips coupons and shops around in the clearance section of Target to score deals.

But these shoes.... ahhhhh, I had to get them.
I devised a plan to validate their necessity.
I would weear them ALL the time. That's it.
I could come home wearing them and nothing else while I seductively convinced Dwayne that they were worth every penny.
I'll wear them to my physical therapy appointment and show them off to my therapist.
I'll weear them to bed.

What I really ended up doing was trying them on at home and not even saying a word about the price.
Oh and I opted for the seductive route on winning them over with Dwayne.

Behold....


The sexiest damn shoes ever.
I feel so hot in them!
Like Sarah Jessica Parker when she finds the perfect pair of Manolo Blahniks.
Expensive, but WHO CARES!

Eyes on Nature

Besides the fact that we're in some big drought right now here, we've had some absolutely gorgeous weather the last few months.
Beautiful sunny days, warm days for playing outside in your t-shirt, cooler days where you needed a light jacket and could run around without sweating too much. (Never mind the runny noses and sneezing due to high allergy factors.)


We haven't even really had a winter.
And we've been loving it! Sorry to all you folks that live up North in cold places. I crack up when I talk to you Canadians and Wisconsiners that tell me you've been having fairly good weather...and it's 40 degrees!

Look what I stumbled upon today


It feels like Spring is just around the corner.

And I got a question for you folks who might know a thing or two about plants.
Can you tell me what this plant is? (C'mon Carrrie C...I know you like to look up shtuff on the internet.)


See,
Sophie likes to pick these berries and play house, cooking with them in her little playhouse. And I'm just worried one day she or Holden will eat them. And they might start swelling or frothing at the mouth. And then I'll have to call Poison Control and when they ask me what kind of berries they ingested I'll have NO CLUE.
"Uhhhhh, the one with red berries and some green leaves and some yellowish with hints of red."
Oh yeah, thaaaaaat one.

Listen up Folks

I've been doing some thinking...

I started this blog a year ago.
I wanted a way for our far-away family and friends to keep in touch and feel like they were a part of our everyday lives. I wanted a place to tell funny stories about the kids and include Dwayne's thoughts too.
That part has been great!
(Although Daddy rarely comes to the blogsite to read or write these days.)

But sometimes I feel like I have to "tame" myself and can't really divulge TMI, for fear that family members or certain people may be offended.
There are days when I'd like to bitch a little more, or say "shit", or talk about things that may ruin your image of me as a good mom/wife/lady (ok, if you know me personally then it wouldn't ruin your image), or talk about things that some people just don't give a crap about.

So I've decided that although this is the "Lum" blog, it really comes from me. It's my point of view, opinions, and thoughts, and I should get to say whatever I feel like!
That's what I'm getting at here. I'm no longer going to write this for other people. I have other readers besides my family, and if I write about something that offends them, so be it. The content will mainly be the same here, but if someday I want to write fuck fuck fuck, then I will.
I have considered starting another blog of my own where I could do these things and keep it a secret from my family. But then that just gets too complicated for me...

Just thought I'd let ya'll know before you read something that makes you cringe and wish you didn't know me.

Happy Wednesday!

Would you like to dance?


Shake it Baby




She's got all the right moves

Because...
I love taking pictures with my new camera
you've probably seen enough pictures of my kids this week
there's no one else to take and post pictures of me
I've always secretly wanted to be a model but could never for obvious reasons

-Jackie

The King and The Slobbery Kong

Here is King Hendrix.


And the slobbery Kong that you must throw for him at least 125 times a day.

I have found for the dog that can chew through a tennis ball a day and Frisbees by the hour, a Kong is the ultimate dog toy. It takes a good 6 months or longer to destroy one of these things.
Hendrix is VERY obsessive about his Kong (probably due to the OCD he inherited from the family).
Not only do you have to throw it repeatedly for him every time you walk outside, there is a certain protocol you must follow to play Kong with Hendrix.
First he runs around to search for the Kong he can't ever remember where he last left it. When he returns he has to slobber and chew on the Kong a minimum of 7 times before he will drop it. Then he nudges it to you with his nose and finally allows you to throw it.
If you try to take the Kong before he has fully slobbered it up, you will be DENIED! He will stand there and hold on to his Kong as if his dear life depended on it, but at the same time paw at you and give you the sad eyes that he wants to play.
You must follow the rules.
Slobber slobber slobber, then wait for the nudge.
Now, once you have the basic rules down you are obligated to play Kong over and over until your arm tires and you are covered in slobber up to your elbows.


Hendrix has been my baby for 11 years now.
Many years ago, I wanted to buy a pup for my boyfriend Todd. He said he wanted a blue heeler. I had never seen or heard of a blue heeler before, but have now come to know that heelers are the best dogs ever!
So we found this farm out in Bastrop that had heeler puppies and drove out to pick one. Todd picked out this sweet little red heeler puppy who puked in my car on the ride home. I didn't bond with Hendrix right away. But after one long road trip with him in the front seat on my lap the whole 12+ hours, we became best buds.
I stole him after Todd and I broke up.
Hendrix has been my protector, my confidant, my date, my exercise buddy, my cow herder, my pillow, my buddy, and my favorite dog for 11 years.


One of the funniest things about Hendrix is his persistence. He will keep after until he gets his way.
I used to take him to the river with me many times a week down in San Marcos. He would endlessly entertain us as we were swimming and sucking back a few beers.
He would first find a stick and bring it over for you to throw. He'd fetch the stick in the river, over the rocks, down the cliffs...but after a few throws with that stick he would come back with a bigger one. A few more throws and he would come back with an even bigger one. This would continue until he was literally dragging an entire tree branch 7 feet long over to you to throw. And would whine and whimper if you couldn't lift it up to throw for him!

Now we do have another dog, Toni, and I will tell her story another day, but you will never see a picture of her. For some strange unknown reason as soon as she sees a camera she heads for the hills. Every single time. Even when I'm trying to be sneaky and hide it behind my back. You won't see her until a good half an hour after the camera is put away.
Weird.

Way Back Wednesday: My 15 Minutes of Fame

The Kept Woman wants us to play her game of Way Back Wednesday... our "Fifteen minutes of fame! Lets see any theatrical/dance/etc. productions that you've taken part in, even if it is just you being a drama queen."

So here I am with my sister. Just look at that angelic smug on my face and you can tell it wasn't too far of a stretch pretending to be an angel.


And here I am dressed in my normal attire that I usually wore to school.


Just kidding.
I don't know what the heck I was trying to do except dress up and probably act out some rock star fantasy of one kind or another.
...Back in the glory days of childhood where you didn't know better and didn't care.
Now I just stick with the latter.

I had somethig brilliant to say and then I forgot

What I do know is that if you are open minded enough and are not a homophobe you should go see the excellent film, Brokeback Mountain.
Beautiful cinematography and a great but tragic love story (plus the guys are HOT!).
It definitely kept me thinking for longtime afterward...

My two hot guys:


And I know I have two goals for the next few months.
1. Exercise
2. Don't smoke

I tried a jog/half walk this morning with the kids in the BOB up and down our hilly neighborhood.
Kicked. my. ass.
My lungs were on fire and I felt like I was either going to puke or pass out.
That's when I decided all those nighttime cigarettes I had smoked the last week were taking their toll.
No more.
An occasional smoke when I get to go out and have a few drinks is ok, but I cannot become a smoker smoker again.

And exercise feels good. I feel good physically and a whole lot mentally. I have more confidence and I am happier when I exercise. I have an easier time actually doing this when I am already exercising, the hard part for me is just getting started. So today I started.

And those are my goals.
Simple enough. I am going to write them on a piece of paper and tape them to my mirror so I see them everyday and remember.
Exercise and Don't Smoke.

One Crabby Lady

That would be me.
My idea of a fun Saturday morning DOES NOT include an awakening at 6:30 am.
Nor does it include a day of shopping at Target or going out to eat with crabby, impatient children.
Yes, you heard me correctly. I did not enjoy shopping at Target. Not with my kids today.
Holden and Sophie started out in the cart and Holden lasted about 3 minutes when we first stopped to look at the kid's clothes. He wants out. He wants Daddy. He wants Mommy. He doesn't want Mommy or Daddy. Then Sophie wants out. Holden is trying to figure out a way to use all his body weight and fling himself out of my arms. Sophie is running around and apparently on her own adgenda.
I am trying to pick out pajamas kids!
On to the little girl panty aisle. Holden's back in the cart for the ride over. Sophie is back in the cart. Holden is crying. Sophie and I pick out some panties.
Back in the cart where Sophie and Holden each get to hold a package of panties.
Ahhhhhh. Quiet for 2 minutes.
All the panties are now out of the packeges and Holden is eating the plastic wrapping.
Whatever.
He's sitting in the cart and he's not crying.
On to the next order of business...
After 15 minutes of pass-the-baby-back-and-forth game, pulling things off the shelves to try and entertain him with, chasing Sophie around the store and returning all the maxi pads she has pulled off the shelves, while trying to get the rest of our shopping done, I was D.O.N.E. and ready to run out of there screaming!

Then we had the brilliant idea we'd go have lunch at Johnny Carino's.
We must have left our parent brains at home in bed and forgot the fact that the children were already hungry and about 40 minutes past their normal lunchtime, not to mention we were creeping up quickly on the beloved Naptime.
Hungry, crabby, tired, impatient kids and eating out DO NOT MIX.
Could even be considered more lethal than drinking and driving.

How do you think this story ends?

a) Mommy and Daddy quickly down as many alcoholic drinks as they can in a half an hour as to be able to tolerate the unruly children
b) Screaming, crying, and Food To Go.
c) Mommy and Daddy excuse themselves to the bathroom but secretly leave the children behind and make a mad dash out of there!

I wonder where he gets his good looks from

This happy little guy is a cuddly 10 month old who likes to play with balls and eat dog food.
He is obsessed with the wheels on Sophie's little baby stroller which is forever bugging the living %@#* out of her. heh heh
He is going to have to be one tough kid to put up with all his big sister's bullying.
Last weekend she was literally trying to drag him out of her new tent. He is learning quickly though and can hold himself up better so when she tries to push him over it only works half the time now. And he has learned how to hold onto the pen of Sophie's Magnadoodle with such power that even I have a hard time prying it out of his hands.


Holden: The boy who can do the half crawl-half scoot like nobody.

(P.S. That is NOT a bruise left by Sophie under his chin. Merely his cute birthmark, a hemangioma, which is underneath his skin.)

The TuTu NuNu LuLu Princess

You don't know what I'm talking about?
Neither do I.
This is some new nonsense rhyming language Sophie has come up with and entertains herself by speaking in tongues.



"What would you like to eat Sophie?"
"Tutu."
"Tutu?"
"No, nunu."
"Is it a tutu or a nunu?
"Poo. Tutu Nunu. Coo."



And we go around in circles speaking this silly language.
Today I am "pooter", yesterday I was "nene."

We seem to go on a "word of the day" theme here.
Today we are back to "tutu."
That was her response to the doctor's hello today at my appointment.
"Tutu."
I have taught her well I see.



Oh, the girl is a silly one.



But she has also been downright nasty. Hitting and kicking her brother because he dares touch HER stuff (and did I tell you that EVERYTHING is hers...the toys, the dog, the rug, the books, the table, the stroller,...)
I won't allow hitting and when she has to sit in time-out she hits and kicks at me, screaming and carrying on so loud that the neighbors 3 miles away can hear her!

I will takes the NuNu's and CooCoo's anyday over the terrible Two-Two's.